HALLOWEEN

“A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.” - Erma Bombeck

The Poets and Storytellers blog has chosen the apt theme of “Halloween” this week. Here is my contribution:

Halloween

It’s a dark, scary night
Halloween is tonight –
All the ghoulies are out
All the ghosties about…

With a crick and a crack
And a tap on my back
I’m trembling and shaking, 
A-fearing and quaking.

It’s a night of the fey
Take care not to stray,
All the witches do sport 
All the fiends do cavort.

With a quick step I tread
With a bat on my head:
It’s shrieking and squeaking
And victims it’s seeking.

It’s the dark, stormy night
Of the hag and the sprite –
All the zombies parade,
All the children afraid.

With a shudder and shake
Until dawn wide awake,
I’m quietly abiding
In the dark hiding.

It’s the night full of screams
And of horrible dreams – 
All the spectres take flight
All the banshees delight.

With a sob and a sigh
With a throb and a cry,
I’m shuddering, shivering
Queasily quivering
It’s Halloween!

The poem is set to music, and you can find all my music in my “Otidorchestre” channel or listen to it on YouTube, Spotify,  Amazon, Deezer, Flo, Pandora, and other music sharing sites.

AN ACADEMIC DISCOURSE

“Common sense and a sense of humour are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing.” - Clive James

This week, Poets and Storytellers United asked us to write “Something Good”, something uplifting, something hopeful or amusing. I have put my tongue firmly in my cheek and I am giving you a little humorous poem — some nonsense verse that takes a little swipe at my fellow academics, who sometimes are too serious for their own good!

An Academic Discourse

Two rabbits, some hares,
Were splitting their hairs:
Their intent to argue creation,
Rain, and such condensation.
Plink plonk!

A rat, a gnat and two moles
Were digging four holes,
Deep in which to inter:
Bread, butter, liqueur.
Oh, yes! 

A frog from a bog and a hen
Constructed a large pen
To herd mewling cats,
All wearing elegant hats.
Meeeeeow….

A badger, a toad, carrying a load
Conversed in Morse code,
While giving great pain
To everyone’s brain.
Oh no!

And there were you, you and I,
And a blue-bottle fly,
Singing in tune under full moon,
Sometime in late June,
While pigs flew overhead
And our theories misled.
Mmmmm, Miss Lead!

Five bandits , two bears,
Were riding on mares.
Wanting to argue cognation
And establish their relation…
Cousins, I think!

A dog in a box, a robin, a fox
Looked at their clocks,
As teatime drew nigh
The tea in short supply!
How beastly!

A stoat and a goat, quick to emote,
Cried long in their boat,
Their tears enough, no surprise,
To make it capsize.
Blur gurgle!

And there were you, you and I,
And a blue-bottle fly,
Singing in tune under full moon,
Sometime in late June,
Eating butter and bread
Content and brain-dead!
Quite so!

The poem is set to music again, and you can find all my music in my “Otidorchestre” channel or listen to it on YouTube,  Spotify,  Amazon, Deezer, Flo, Pandora, and other music sharing sites.

Please note that the song has been submitted to music sharing sites, but there is a variable period of delay until the song is publicly released. YouTube is generally the most prompt.

THE FRENCH HAT

“The difference between style and fashion is quality.” - Giorgio Armani

The New What’s Going On Blog has set a theme of “The Stories We Wear” this week; the theme relates to headwear - hats and such-like that we choose to place on our head for one or another reason…  Here is the story of Fashion Queen Imogen and her long-suffering husband…

The French Hat

“Imogen, dear, that hat you wear will never do
We’re going to the cinema you know!”
“Oh, yes, of course it will and don't you stew,
It’s French, so elegant, so ‘comme-il-faut’…”

“Imogen, those behind us shall grumble and complain,
We’ll never hear the end of it, I feel…”
“Oh, shush! A chic and wee chapeau, makes me feel urbane,
Besides, it’s such a delicate shade of teal!”

“Imogen, dear, I am sure you know what is best,
But I fret that we shall spoil our outing…”
“Tut-tut, Henry you are such a bore, desist and rest;

All’s well there will be no loutish shouting!”

So off they went, he short and fat, she lean and tall,
The hat balanced precariously on coiffed beehive.
They sat right up the front and in the centre of the hall,
She high, while Henry shrank and hoped all to survive.

“Down with your blasted hat, up front I cannot see!
Take off the darned contraption and let us enjoy the flick!”
“Oh, Henry an appalling place! Oh, goodness, me!
I feel as though I could get up and give that man a kick…”

“Oh Imogen, dearest love I knew it all along, that hat
Will cause much trouble, strife and discontent!”

“Henry get up and be a man! Don’t let fools treat you like a mat!
Use violence if you must, that lout’s no gent!”

“Down, down! Off with that tatty blue thing up front!”
“Henry, stop hiding, up you get we shall leave!
This is no place for people of quality; Oh, such affront!”
“Imogen, dear, indeed! The ones who leave won't grieve!

So off they went, he glum and fat, she proud and tall,
The hat still held precariously on coiffed beehive.
She killed with dagger eyes the youth, whose catcall

Forced their exit; but hat was held high, joyously alive.

BIRTHDAY

“Don't just count your years, make your years count.” - George Meredith

The New What’s Going On blog is prompting about birthdays this week. I’ve just had mine last week, so this is quite apt. Here is my poem to read and it’s accompanied by best wishes for all who are celebrating birthdays (and not necessarily the day of your birth!).

Birthday

There was no cake -
Too many carbs and empty calories;
Besides, sugar is evil we are told.
(Act your age, cake is for five-ear olds!)

There were no candles -
Definitely a fire hazard!
And they always melt and make a mess on the frosting
(Anyway, there is no cake, and you don’t like eating wax, do you?)

There were no presents -
You have everything you need.
What do you want at your age?
(You’re too difficult to shop for anyway…)

There was no party -
I’m sure the neighbours would complain,
Strangers popping in, noise, loud music all night
(Can you imagine yourself wearing a paper hat?)

There was no card -
Who sends cards nowadays?
You’re lucky to get an email:
(With “Belated Birthday Wishes” a month later.)

There was no alcohol -
In your condition? That’s a no-no,
Too many interactions with your medication.
(The doctor forbade it, you know it full well!)

So I went out alone to the pub,
And had a good counter meal with a nice wine.
There was a piece of cake with a candle on it afterwards;
And the barman sang “Happy Birthday”
And everyone joined in.
I felt quite merry, and the fellow patrons too.
There was music playing on the jukebox
And we all danced like there was no tomorrow,
With no complaints from anyone.

A touch of indigestion later,
A deep sleep (thank you, alcohol/medication interactions!),
A bit of molten wax on my coat sleeve,
A gift of a bottle of champagne in the fridge,
And in my pocket a little card,
Scribbled in neat, flowery script:
“Happy Birthday, from Julia!
That was great fun tonight.
Call me… 74530029
It's my birthday next week.”

MY NOVEL: "THE NURSING HOME"

"There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you." - Carol Matthau

In the densely built up suburbia of Melbourne's outer West, surrounded by a high wall, is the large oasis of "The Golden West" Nursing Home. A beautiful, large garden surrounds sumptuous period buildings of great charm, with excellent amenities, caring staff and a charter to provide the "best possible care for seniors who are used to the lifestyle of the well-to-do".

A cavalcade of memorable residents, carers, administrative staff, relatives and friends, all confront the problems of old age with varying degrees of success. All seems to go well, until a series of deaths amongst the residents puts the Director of the Home and his staff in a difficult situation, and threaten the serenity and restfulness of this microcosm that reflects society outside the walls.

Love, hate, envy, deceit, compassion, selfishness, altruism, guilt, religion, atheism, dreams and harsh realities, all the stuff of life and death, are laid out in a procession of humanity's common concerns.

MIDWEEK MOVIES - THE DETAILS

“Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness.” - Immanuel Kant 

We watched an interesting film at the weekend, which got us talking about “amoral” versus “immoral” people. Amoral implies ‘not concerned with or affected by morality’, so that something described as amoral cannot appropriately be criticised for failure to conform to accepted moral standards. It is lacking a moral sense and is unconcerned with the rightness or wrongness of something (for example, “an amoral attitude to sex”; or “the client pays for the amoral expertise of the lawyer”).

Immoral, on the other hand, means ‘not conforming to accepted standards of morality’, and implies condemnation (e.g. “they felt it was immoral to accept a loan that they could not hope to repay”). Our discussion concerned the anti-hero of this quirky movie, which was about all the shades of gray between the blacks and whites of morality. 

The Details (2011) Black Comedy - Directed by Jacob Estes; starring Tobey Maguire, Elizabeth Banks, Laura Linney. - 7/10

In King County, Washington, Dr. Jeff Lang (Maguire) has been married for ten years with Nealy Lang (Banks) and they have a little boy. Their best friends are Rebecca Mazzoni, who studied with Jeff at medical school, and her husband Peter Mazzoni. Jeff decides to lay turf in his backyard, but the lawn rolls come with worms underneath and raccoons destroy his lawn during the night. Jeff wants also build another room in the house for his planned second son, but City Hall blocks the project. Jeff decides to build the room without approval and he gives his mentally unstable next door neighbour Lila (Linney), a beautiful plant, hoping to bribe her into silence. Jeff likes to play basketball with his friend Lincoln, who has kidney failure and needs haemodialysis.

Things begin to go wrong for Jeff, as:

a) His wife refuses to have sex with him;

b) The raccoons are seemingly ineradicable;

c) Rebecca is far too amorous for a good friend;

d) Lila is unpredictably erratic in her dealings with Jeff;

e) Jeff is too irresponsible and prone to amoral and immoral behaviour…

This creates havoc in the lives of Jeff and everyone he associates with, with some bizarre and tragic consequences.

We quite enjoyed the film, but perhaps even more the discussion it generated in its aftermath, which was quite a philosophical one and got us thinking about morality and how people view it and what choices in their lives they make on the basis of their personal concepts of morality. Worth hunting out this film and watching it, not only because it is quite entertaining, but also because it is a film that makes you think.

MIDWEEK MOVIES - THE COBBLER

“Between saying and doing, many a pair of shoes is worn out.” - Iris Murdoch 

“The Cobbler” (2014) Fantasy/Comedy – Director: Tom McCarthy; starring Adam Sandler, Melonie Diaz, Steve Buscemi – 5/10 

Max Simkin (Sandler) repairs shoes in the same New York shop that has been in his family for generations. Disenchanted with the grind of daily life, Max stumbles upon a magical heirloom that allows him to step into the lives of his customers and see the world in a new way. Sometimes walking in another man’s shoes is the only way one can discover who they really are.

Well, we watched this last weekend and it was a rather tiresome film, even for a Sunday matinée. There was quite a bit of to do with magic and fluff but the film was not a typical fantasy film (it took itself too seriously to be that). There was an attempt at slapstick (but very heavy handed); there were good guys and bad guys and gals (but they were rather half-hearted at what they were about). Sandler looked bored or bewildered most of his screen time and Dustin Hoffman had a gratuitous presence that must have made his bank account look a little healthier. The romantic interests were tokenistic and the single idea of the film about “stepping into someone’s shoes to really understand them” wore thin by the first half hour.

If you haven’t seen this don’t bother hunting it out to watch and if it’s on and you have time to waste, watch it while you are doing the crossword perhaps.

MOVIE MONDAY - VIVE LA FRANCE!

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.” – Oscar Wilde

Many English speakers abhor watching foreign language films as they detest subtitling. I on the contrary, not only watch foreign films with subtitles, but in these blessed days of DVDs and Blu-Ray discs, I watch even English language films with the subtitle feature on. This is necessary as the diction of many actors is absolutely terrible, the sound engineering is often despicable and the musical backing is hopelessly intrusive. Add to that some peculiarities of accent or idiomatic forms of English spoken sloppily and you end up with understanding half of what is being said if you don't have the aid of the subtitles. Needless to say I never buy any DVDs or Blu-Rays that don’t have English subtitles or closed captions.

For Movie Monday today, tow movies: The original French film and the Hollywood remake for the native speakers of English who “don’t do subtitles”. The original film (and in my opinion the funnier of the two) is the 1972 Yves Robert comedy “The Tall Blond Man with One Black Shoe” (Le grand blond avec une chaussure noire) starring Pierre Richard, Bernard Blier and Jean Rochefort. The Hollywood remake is the 1985 Stan Dragoti film “The Man with One Red Shoe” starring Tom Hanks, Lori Singer and Dabney Coleman. And yes, I had the subtitles turned on for both films…

The plot of both films is almost identical except for some sociopolitical, cultural and ethno-geographic adaptations in the US version (obviously!) – I give you here the US film’s plot as you are probably more likely to get your hands on this one to watch: Cooper (Dabney Coleman), the deputy director of the CIA, wants to be the director. So, he tries to make it appear that the director (Charles Durning) is corrupt so that he will resign or be removed. The director appears before a committee and asks for some time to prepare his defense. The director goes home and asks his man Brown (Ed Herrmann) to join him. He then shows Brown that Cooper is bugging him.

He then decides to turn the tables on Cooper by feeding him false information. The information being that there’s supposedly a man arriving at the airport, who might be able to clear him of the charges against him. The Director tells Brown to just pick anyone who is arriving at the airport thus making Cooper believe that he is the man who can help the director. Brown picks violinist Richard (Tom Hanks) because he is wearing mismatched shoes, one of them being a red sneaker. So Cooper sets up surveillance on Richard and sends his femme fatale, Maddy (Lori Singer) to come on to him and find out what he knows. Add a subplot of a fellow musician (Jim Belushi) who thinks his wife (Carrie Fisher) is having an affair with Richard, and the stage is set for a send-up of spy movies.

The original French film is extremely funny but also sophisticated, even though it often features slapstick, farcical situations. The lead actor, Pierre Richard, is fantastic as the hapless orchestral player who gets caught willy-nilly in the secret service shenanigans. The pace is relentless and one comical situation succeeds the next with the audience laughing out loud without effort. The rest of the cast (including the luscious Mireille Darc as the femme fatale) is exemplary in an ensemble acting effort. The music is unforgettable with a soundtrack written by Vladimir Cosma and performed by the Romanian Pan pipe player Gheorghe Zamfir.

Now, the Hollywood version. Yes, but… I guess the summary is if you haven't seen the original French movie and you moderate your expectations, you will enjoy the US version as a light-weight Spy vs Spy spoof. Hanks is very young but copes fairly well with playing the innocent bystander around whom the whole world collapses. Jim Belushi and Carrie Fisher carry on quite well (although they do ham it up a bit) as the couple with marital problems and the remainder of the cast are adequate. A nice enough, amusing movie to watch in the background on a lazy Sunday afternoon. You will chuckle here and there…

MOVIE MONDAY - COMEDY FILMS

“Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.” - Peter Ustinov

We all need to laugh and doing so does us the world of good. Laughter is a powerful antidote to anxiety, stress, pain, and conflict. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back to normal than a good laugh. Humour lightens your burdens, inspires hopes, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focussed, and alert. With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health. Laughter triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humour and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress.

However, many people nowadays find it more and more difficult to have a really good laugh, allowing their problems to get the better of them and sometimes sinking into the depths of depression. Thus, it is no surprise that the comedy genre is popular in literature, film and TV. Speaking of TV, the canned laughter in TV-SitComs is a calculated ploy. Humour is infectious: The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. When you hear other people laugh you are more likely to also find funny whatever it is that makes them laugh.

Comedy is a narrative that has a series of funny or comical events, intended to make the audience laugh. It is a very open genre, and thus crosses over with many other genres on a frequent basis. Even a very serious and dramatic movie may have moments of comedy within it to lighten the mood and give the audience some comic relief. An emotional safety valve if you will. The various sub-genres of comedy are:

Comedy of Manners: This is a film satirising the manners and affectations of a social class, often represented by stock characters. The plot of the comedy is often concerned with an illicit love affair or some other scandal, but this is generally less important than the witty dialogue and embarrassing situations some of the characters find themselves in. This form of comedy has a long ancestry, dating back at least as far as Shakespeare’s “Much Ado about Nothing”. P.G. Wodehouse’s “Jeeves” series of books and the excellent 1990 TV Series adaptation “Jeeves and Wooster” with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie is a classic example of this genre.

Tall Tale: A humorous story with blatant exaggeration, swaggering heroes who do the impossible with nonchalance. Terry Gilliam’s 1988 “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” is a classic example. It is an adaptation of German writer Rudolf Erich Raspe’s 1785 book: “Baron Munchausen’s Narrative of his Marvellous Travels and Campaigns in Russia.” I loved the film and it received positive reviews from critics, but unfortunately, it was a box office bomb!

Parody: A story that mocks or satirises other genres, people, fictional characters or works. Such works employ sarcasm, stereotyping, mockery of scenes, symbols or lines from other works, and the obviousness of meaning in a character’s actions. Such stories may be “affectionate parodies”, which merely mean to entertain those familiar with the source of the parody, or they may well be intended to undercut the respectability of the original inspiration for the parody by pointing out its flaws (the latter being closer to satire). Terry Gilliam’s and Terry Jones’s “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” of 1975 is an affectionate parody of the King Arthur epic movies.

Romantic Comedy aka RomCom: A sub-genre which combines the romance genre with comedy, focusing on two or more individuals as they discover and attempt to deal with their romantic love, attractions to each other. The stereotypical plot line follows the “boy-gets-girl”, “boy-loses-girl”, “boy gets girl back again” sequence. Naturally, there are innumerable variants to this plot (as well as new twists, such as reversing the gender roles in the story), and much of the generally lighthearted comedy lies in the social interactions and sexual tension between the characters, who very often either refuse to admit they are attracted to one another, or must deal with other’s meddling in their affairs. The plethora of movies in this genre attests to its great popularity with the paying public. Rob Reiner’s “When Harry Met Sally...” of 1989 is a good film of this genre.

Comic Fantasy: This is a sub-genre of fantasy that is primarily humorous in intent and tone. Usually set in imaginary worlds, comic fantasy often includes puns on and parodies of other works of fantasy. It is sometimes known as low fantasy in contrast to high fantasy, which is primarily serious in intent and tone. The term “low fantasy” is also used to represent other types of fantasy, so while comic fantasies may also correctly be classified as low fantasy, many examples of low fantasy are not comic in nature. Andrew Adamson’s and Vicky Jenson’s animated 2001 film “Shrek” is an example.

Comedy Horror: This is quite a popular genre and there are often elements of parody in this sub-genre. Mixing the spine-chilling effects and plot devices with comedy (often slapstick) greatly defuses the horrific with a belly laugh. Mel Brooks’ 1974 film “Young Frankenstein” is a good example. The 2009 Karyn Kusama film “Jennifer’s Body” is another one.

Black Comedy (or Dark Comedy): A parody or satirical story that is based on normally tragic or taboo subjects, including death, murder, suicide, illicit drugs and war. So-called “dead baby comedy” sometimes falls under this sub-genre. Peter Berg’s 1998 film “Very Bad Things” is a good example.

Zombie Comedy: Often called ZomCom or Zomedy, this is a genre that blends zombie horror motifs with slapstick comedy as well as dark comedy. Edgar Wright’s 2004 “Shaun of the Dead” falls in this sub-genre, or may even be considered a “RomZomCom” (a romantic ZomCom).

Comic Science Fiction: A comedy that uses science fiction elements or settings, often as a lighthearted (or occasionally vicious) parody  Garth Jennings’s 2005 film “The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy” is a film of this sub-genre.

So whatever sub-genre tickles your funny bone go forth and see films of that ilk, as laughter is good for you.

And what do you call an alligator in a vest?

An “investigator” of course!

MOVIE MONDAY - DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

“I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word ‘housewife’. I prefer to be called ‘domestic goddess’.’ - Roseanne Barr

We have just finished watching the first season of the 2004 soapie “Desperate Housewives” on DVD, which I must say I was dragged in to watch kicking and screaming. Reading the blurb on the cover and seeing the cover photo, I must say that I groaned. This was a typical chick-flick type of soapie that I was just going to hate and I was going to watch a few episodes and then politely make up excuses and desist from watching the remaining episodes of this mammoth eight-season series…

Never heard of this series, like me before watching it? Well you must have been living on the same planet as me (which is not earth) as every other person on earth has apparently seen this! The show is about suburban life for a group of close-knit housewives who have become good friends and apparently live a “normal” suburban life. However, this is no ordinary suburb as one of their closest friends mysteriously commits suicide. So not only do they have to deal with their own hectic problems and romantic lives, but they have to work out why on earth would a happy housewife suddenly take her own life. Each season of the series brings on a new mystery and more twisted events in the dark and complex lives of the residents of Fairview…

Well, having watched the first season, I must say that I was pleasantly surprised. The show is not boring and furthermore it had me hooked. What really sucked me in was that it deals with some serious issues, but it has humour! And that’s the winner for me and that is what kept me watching it. The other winner is that the characters, although anything but normal, do resonate and viewers can immediately recognise them as people they know or have met. Also despite the understandable exaggeration that a soapie plotline indulges in, there are so many situations and dialogue that rings remarkably real. Hats off to the creator of the series, Marc Cherry for getting the mix right.

The other strength of the show is the fantastic cast, especially the female leads who play the housewives of the title desperately well! Terri Hatcher as the insecure and slightly inept Susan Mayer, Felicity Huffman as the efficient and erstwhile successful businesswoman Lynette Scavo (I have a lot of time for this common sense lady!), Marcia Cross as the neurotic perfectionist Bree Van De Kamp, Eva Longoria as the narcissistic, shallow ex-model Gabrielle Solis, and finally  Nicollette Sheridan as the predatory sexpot Edie Britt. The supporting actors are excellent also, as they have to be, I guess, in the cutthroat world of soapie TV…

Overall, an enjoyable, entertaining, funny (although often sensitive and poignant) series. I’m grateful that I was made to watch it and look forward to seeing Season 2! Oh, and by the way I enjoyed the introduction and credits as the idea of using a send-up of famous artworks was fantastic. There is reference to “Adam and Eve” by Lucas Cranach the Elder, “The Arnolfini Portrait” by Jan van Eyck, “American Gothic” by Grant Wood, and Andy Warhol's “Campbell's soup can”. Also alluded to are the lesser known “Couple Arguing” and “Romantic Couple” by Robert Dale (drawn in a comic book style similar to that of Roy Liechtenstein) and a 1940s “Am I Proud!” poster by Dick Williams (showing a woman holding cans).

MOVIE MONDAY - THE DRESSMAKER

“There is much to support the view that it is clothes that wear us, and not we, them; we may make them take the mould of arm or breast, but they mould our hearts, our brains, our tongues to their liking.” - Virginia Woolf

For Movie Monday today, an Australian film, the 2015 Jocelyn Moorhouse movie “The Dressmaker” starring Kate Winslet, Liam Hemsworth, Hugo Weaving and Judy Davis. The film is based on Australian author Rosalie Ham’s Gothic novel first published by Duffy & Snellgrove on January 1, 2000. The story is set in a 1950s fictional Australian country town, Dungatar, and explores love, hate and haute couture. The novel is divided into four sections, each named after a different fabric and representing different phases in the story: Gingham, shantung, felt and brocade. I have not read the novel, but the quirky film was interesting and entertaining.

The plot centres on Myrtle “Tilly” Dunnage (Winslet) who returns home to rural Australia after spending time abroad becoming an accomplished fashion designer. Much of the story hinges on her childhood: As a child Tilly was sent to a boarding school in Melbourne by Sergeant Farrat (Weaving) as she was accused of killing the boy who bullied her. Her mother, Molly (Davis) initially doesn’t recognise the adult Tilly on her return o town and thinks she is dealing with an impostor. Molly eventually accepts her into her home and Tilly transforms it into a couturier’s salon where she begins to make haute couture clothes for the women of the town. In the meantime, she becomes romantically involved with Teddy McSwiney (Hemsworth) whom she has known since they were children. The town still hasn’t forgiven Tilly for apparently killing the boy and believe she is cursed. Tilly’s plan is to exact revenge on all those who did her wrong and she will apparently stop at nothing to succeed...

The film is episodic in nature and difficult to classify into a single genre. There is quite a great deal going on and there are many characters introduced throughout. Many familiar Australian actors get lines in this movie and it’s great to see them doing their thing so well. Kate Winslet assumes a fantastic Australian accent and it certainly complements Hemsworth’s drawl. Judy Davis is fantastic in her role, which deserves a supporting actress Oscar.

There are moments of hilarious humour, moments of poignancy, great sadness, frustration and quirkiness. A true roller-coaster in terms of everything that is going on. Part of the film’s charm perhaps is because of this failure to classified and pigeon-holed and it can be considered to mirror life in this respect. There is poetic license, of course, and an almost magical realism about the situation as well as an unconventional ending. Given the film’s title and the short publicity blurb I read about it before seeing it, I thought it was going to be a standard chick-flick, but no, it doesn’t fall into that type either.

The sets, costumes, cinematography and authentic touches of the 1950s era were extremely well done and one felt transported back in time, watching this idiosyncratic tale. I would recommend it anyone and I would say that it was quite an entertaining two hours we spent watching it. The film has a great message, as well, about the few bad people who are hasty in making terrible judgments and who are able to influence a whole lot of others, thus making life miserable for everyone…

MOVIE MONDAY - CYRANO DE BERGERAC

“A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.” - Cyrano deBergerac

We watched an old movie at the weekend, which we got on a DVD at a garage sale. We don’t often go to garage sales, but if one is on our way somewhere and it’s convenient to stop we do have a look – curiosity, I guess what other people consider as junk… One can find some interesting things in these sales, although the majority of them are full of heaps of junk, and we agree with the sellers that we wouldn’t want it either. But one never knows, “one man’s meat is another man’s poison”, they say…

The film was Jean-Paul Rappeneau’s 1990 “Cyrano de Bergerac”,  starring Gérard Depardieu, Anne Brochet and Vincent Perez. Savinien de Cyrano de Bergerac (6 March 1619 – 28 July 1655) was a French novelist, playwright, epistolarian and duelist. A bold and innovative author, his work was part of the libertine literature of the first half of the seventeenth century. Today he is best known as the inspiration for Edmond Rostand’s most noted drama ‘Cyrano de Bergerac’ which, although it includes elements of his life, also contains invention and myth. Since the 1970s, there has been a resurgence in the study of Cyrano, demonstrated in the abundance of theses, essays, articles and biographies published in France and elsewhere. The film can thus be regarded as fictionalised biography, and is based on Edmond Rostand’s play, from which Jean-Claude Carrière and Jean-Paul Rappeneau produced the excellent screenplay.

Cyrano is a dashing officer of the guard as well as a talented poet, whose romantic verse make women swoon. He is in love with his cousin Roxane but he daren’t tell her because of his big problem: A very large and prominent nose, which he nevertheless feels may be responsible for the development of  razor-sharp wit. Cyrano believes that Roxane will reject him on account of his nose. He resorts to writing letters to her on behalf of one of his cadets, Christian, who is also in love with Roxane but just doesn’t know how to tell her. She falls for the poetic charm of the letters but believes that they were written by Christian and not Cyrano….

This is the film that made Gérard Depardieu a world-wide superstar. Although he was a star in the French cinema for years, Depardieu was unknown in many other countries around the world. As this film won two Academy awards in 1990 (best foreign language film, and best costumes – these were designed by Franca Squarciapino), it generated enough interest around the globe, winning Depardieu well-deserved fame. Depardieu was born to play the role of Cyrano and every word he speaks could not have been delivered in a better way! The rest of the cast are also worthy of praise and the direction, cinematography, scenery and costumes will please all.

French is said to be the language of love, and in this screenplay (as in the original play), all speeches are in rhyming verse which sound absolutely wonderful and this helps to blow a few cobwebs from your high school French. In the version we saw the subtitles were excellently done and gave a great rendition of the original. The music score by Kurt Kuenne and Jean-Claude Petit complemented the action well and was not obtrusive. The film is a fantastic mix of humour, poignancy, action, romance, wit, farce, drama and spectacle. Definitely worth searching for it and viewing it!

MOVIE MONDAY - SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN

“The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.” - John Buchan

We Watched Lasse Hallström’s 2011 movie “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen” at the weekend. It proved to be an interesting, quirky movie, which in the end was quite enjoyable. It stars Ewan McGregor, Emily Blunt, Amr Waked and Kristin Scott Thomas, and the screenplay is by Simon Beaufoy based on Paul Torday’s novel.

Yemen is an Arab country in Southwest Asia, occupying the southwestern to southern end of the Arabian Peninsula. Yemen is the second largest country in the peninsula, occupying 527,970 km2, with its coastline stretches for about 2,000 km. It is bordered by Saudi Arabia to the north, the Red Sea to the west, the Gulf of Aden and Arabian Sea to the south, and Oman to the east. Although Yemen's constitutionally stated capital is the city of Sana’a, the city has been under rebel control since February 2015. Because of this, Yemen’s capital has been temporarily relocated to the port city of Aden, on the southern coast. Yemen’s territory includes more than 200 islands; the largest of these is Socotra.

The film obviously relates to more peaceful times in the Yemen, and is about dreaming big and realising one’s dreams no matter how impossible to realise they may seem. The plot revolves around a visionary, Sheik Muhammed (Amr Waked), who believes his passion for the peaceful pastime of salmon fishing can enrich the lives of his people, and he dreams of bringing the sport to the not so fish-friendly desert. Willing to spare no expense, he instructs his representative to turn the dream into reality, an extraordinary feat that will require the involvement of Britain’s leading fisheries expert, Dr Jones (McGregor), who happens to think the project both absurd and unachievable. That is, until the Prime Minister’s overzealous press secretary (Kristin Scott Thomas) latches on to it as a ‘good will’ story. Now, this unlikely team will put it all on the line and embark on an upstream journey of faith and fish to prove the impossible, possible.

The film is a quirky, satirical, romantic comedy. It is gentle British fare that manages to pleasantly charm the viewer into accepting the persiflage of the unlikelihood of fishing for salmon in the desert with all of its attendant leaps of faith. It is a film about friendship, love, cross-cultural bridges and of course, fishing. In the same breath, let me say that one does not need to fish to enjoy the movie. There is also the unlikely romance that sparks between Dr Jones (McGregor) and investment consultant Harriet Chetwode-Talbot (Blunt) while working on this theoretically possible (but difficult to realise) project.

The acting is great, all characters making the most of the good (and occasionally) very witty script. Direction is understated and often tongue-in-cheek, as one would expect from Lasse Hallström whose most successful films (“Chocolat”, “The Cider House Rules”, “My Life As a Dog”) turn on flights of fancy. We enjoyed the film and remained engaged during its 107 minute duration. Comedy and social comment, mixed with romance, cultural ethography and wit, with just a touch of whimsy!

MOVIE MONDAY - ÄNGLAGÅRD

“A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt.” - Woodrow Wilson

We watched an old Swedish film last weekend, the 1992, Colin Nutley movie, “Änglagård” (“House of Angels”), starring Helena Bergström, Rikard Wolff, Sven Wollter, Reine Brynolfsson and Ernst Günther. This was a pleasant, entertaining and bittersweet movie that concerned itself with prejudice, small town mentality and conformity vs individuality. The film is very Swedish, even though it is directed by an Englishman and takes place in a lovely part of the Swedish countryside.

A small, conservative village in Västergötland, Sweden is turned upside-down when an elderly, lonely old man dies and his mansion with surrounding land and woods, called “House of Angels”, is inherited by his grand-daughter, Fanny, whom he had never met. Fanny a vivacious and free-spirited young woman comes to the village riding on a big black motorcycle with her best friend Zac, wearing black leather and spikes.

The village people do not welcome this unorthodox city girl, although she manages to win some over with her open, sunny nature. The local well-to-do entrepreneur and village kingpin, Axel Flogfält had expected that he would be able to buy the mansion for a good price, but now it seems that Fanny and Zac have come to stay there. The village is divided into two camps, one for and one against them…

The film is quite a lot of fun, and while the story does not break any new ground, it is a study of human nature. As Fanny gathers information provided by the townspeople about her dead mother and her grandfather, she learns more about herself. The prejudice, fear of the unknown and the different, and the small-mindedness of the Swedish village people is captured well by Nutley. Small communities the world over have similar attitudes and similar characters. The themes of forgiveness and self-knowledge subtly unfold as Fanny interacts with the people of the village, but also as she re-evaluates her relationship with Zac.

The acting is good, the direction light as befits the movie and the music well-suited to the action. The cinematography is beautiful and highlights some of the summery countryside of a lovely part of Sweden. We enjoyed seeing this light and fluffy sleeper of a movie, on a DVD which sort of fell in our lap. It is the first of a trilogy of films, the second being “Änglagård - Andra sommaren” (1994) and the third, “Änglagård - Tredje gången gillt” (2010). I can’t say we’ll actively look for the sequels, but if we come across the DVDs, no doubt we’ll watch them sometime…

MONSIEUR POMIANE'S COOKBOOK

“Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health.” Julia Child

I read a delightful little cookbook the other day. It is a 1960s reprint of Edouard de Pomiane’s book “Cooking in Ten Minutes”, first published in France in 1948 and translated into English by Peggie Benton. The author subtitles his work “Or, The Adaptation to the Rhythm of our Time”, which goes to show that the idea of fast food is not as recent as we would like to think. However, reading this highly amusing little book, one gets the idea that Monsieur Pomiane gives us recipes for good old fashioned slow food, prepared quickly, rather than the “fast food” that we seem to think of when we hear the term. For example, here is one of M. Pomiane’s 10-minute menus for a dinner:
Lobsters à l’ Americaine
Tournedos Rossini
Asparagus vinaigrette
Cheese and fruit

The book is delicious to read and the author’s style is humorous (though never flippant), his advice often delivered ex-cathedra (but always sensible) and his recipes adventurous (but always following the “prepared in 10 minutes” rule). The book is illustrated with lovely little sketches reminiscent of Toulouse Lautrec and is full of essential, basic information that one should know but never had the temerity to ask about!

I’ll give you samples of this book, beginning with what the author has to say about it:

PREFACE

 “I am neither a fool nor a micromaniac (which is the opposite to a megalomaniac and means a man with a passion for exiguity. This word, by the way, is not to be found in the dictionary). And yet the day my book “Cooking in Six Lessons” appeared I was called frivolous. I was criticised for teaching the art of cooking in six lessons when everyone knows it takes ten years to become a cook. I replied to this criticism in a preface showing the part that science can play in the rhythm and measure of teaching any art, including cookery. I tried to show that I had a feeling for speed and that I didn't simply disregard the question of time.

Now I maintain that one can prepare a meal in ten minutes, and as this is an incredibly short time I shall be treated as a micromaniac.”

M. Pomiane has advice regarding hors d’ oeuvres:
“Do not rush into complicated hors d’ oeuvres. You have not the right, nor the time. In any case they only attenuate the voluptuousness of your hunger for the principal dish, so use them with parsimony. If you have a passion for hors d’ oeuvres, have the courage of your convictions and make a whole meal of these gastronomic frivolities.

This will reduce your cooking to the infinitely simple, that is to say, to the preparation of coffee. Bring home some mortadella or salami, some tunny fish, some olives, mushroom salad and three slices of smoked ham. Add some butter, a slice of Roquefort cheese, some fruit, and you will be happy. But be careful. Do not repeat this dînette often. It would damage your health. And in any case you will soon get tired of it.

You can, however, perfectly well begin your meal with one of the delicacies mentioned. Do not make an egg dish on that day. You will eat your tunny fish or your two sardines while the pork chop which will afterwards appear with chestnut puree is turning a crisp golden brown.”

And finally his recipe for scrambled eggs (which I think are one of the most difficult things to cook properly!).

SCRAMBLED EGGS
You will need two eggs. It is difficult to scramble a solitary egg as it sets too quickly.

Break two eggs into a bowl. Beat them with a fork. Salt.

Melt and heat a large walnut of butter in a frying pan. Pour in the eggs and as soon as they begin to stick to the bottom of the pan break them loose with the back of the fork, stir them, worry them, torment them, mix them, beat them, so that all the lumps are broken up. Stir them on a gentle fire. When the eggs begin to thicken draw them off the fire. Stir. They continue to set, As soon as the eggs are ready, that is to say still creamy, pour them on to a slightly warmed plate. Eat immediately.

You can add all sorts of things to scrambled eggs as variations before you begin to cook them:

Cervelat cut in cubes.

Minced ham.

Tinned green peas.

Shelled shrimps.

Boiled mussels.

Croutons of bread fried in butter.

Mushrooms fresh from the frying pan.

Truffles.

and so on.

But remember that you must only add very small quantities. Eggs with green peas must not become green peas with eggs.

One must receive, above all, the impression of creamy eggs cooked to a turn. The flavour of the addition must be of secondary importance. Besides, scrambled eggs with green peas are a delightful spectacle, while green peas with eggs are a depressing sight.

I must say that I love the type of advice given in this cookbook: “Sauerkraut: Buy some of it already prepared as you will never have the time to do it yourself. If you go to a good shop it will be far better than any you could prepare anyway!” That’s my kind of cooking!

MUSIC SATURDAY - STAMITZ VIOLA CONCERTO

“The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.” - Victor Borge

Viola jokes are a category of jokes directed against violas and viola players. The jokes are thought to have originated from the 18th century when the part of the viola was very uncomplicated and often just a filler part, thus attracting musicians who were not usually very talented either musically or intellectually. Another reason is that viola players were often previously violinists who were not particularly talented and are therefore asked to play the viola, as violin parts are often more demanding. This led to a generally lower standard of violists, which meant that jokes were made about them.

In Italy in the early 1700s, the following story occurred and it is thought that it was the origin of many viola jokes despite being a true story: The violinist Francesco Geminiani arrived in London in 1714, one of the many expatriate musicians who settled in England in the late seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries. As a young man Geminiani was appointed head of the orchestra in Naples, where according to English music historian Charles Burney he was “so wild and unsteady a timist, that instead of regulating and conducting the band, he threw it into confusion”, and was demoted to playing the viola.

The jokes come in many different forms. Some of them are only understandable to musicians and people acquainted with musical terms, while others are meant to be understood for everyone, regardless of their musical knowledge. Some jokes make fun of the viola itself while others make fun of violists, while some jokes are in fact directed the opposite direction, effectively jokes to musicians who tell viola jokes.

Jokes aside, the viola is a beautiful instrument. It is generally strung with heavier strings than the violin. This, combined with its larger size and lower pitch range, results in a deeper and mellower tone. However, the thicker strings also mean that the viola speaks more slowly. Practically speaking, if a violist and violinist are playing together, the violist must begin moving the bow a fraction of a second sooner than the violinist. The thicker strings also mean that more weight must be applied with the bow to make them speak. The sound of the viola is a beautiful alto, rich and sweet like caramel.

Music that is written for the viola differs from that of most other instruments, in that it primarily uses the alto clef, which is otherwise rarely used. Viola music employs the treble clef when there are substantial sections of music written in a higher register. The viola occasionally has a major role in orchestral music. In the earlier part of the 20th century, more composers began to write for the viola, encouraged by the emergence of specialised soloists such as Lionel Tertis. Englishmen Arthur Bliss, York Bowen, Benjamin Dale, and Ralph Vaughan Williams all wrote chamber and concert works for Tertis. William Walton, Bohuslav Martinů and Béla Bartók wrote well-known viola concertos. Paul Hindemith wrote a substantial amount of music for viola. In the latter part of the 20th century a substantial repertoire was produced for the viola.

Here is a lovely concerto for viola. It is Carl Stamitz’s “Viola Concerto in D major”, Op.1, with soloist Ulrich Koch, accompanied by the Collegium Aureum. Carl Philipp Stamitz (Czech: Karel Stamic; baptised 8 May 1745 – 9 November 1801), who changed his given name from Karl, was a German composer of partial Czech ancestry. He was the most prominent representative of the second generation of the Mannheim School. He was the eldest son of Johann Stamitz, a violinist and composer of the early classical era. Born in Mannheim, he received lessons from his father and Christian Cannabich, his father’s successor as leader of the Mannheim orchestra.