Tuesday, 17 December 2013

POETRY JAM - INSIDE OUTSIDE

“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” - Judy Garland
 

Poetry Jam issued the following challenge to followers of this creative writing blog: “This week write a poem from the perspective of someone on the outside looking in or someone on the inside looking out – or both…”
 

Here is my offering:
 

Walking in the Rain
 

The pattern of copper leaves on wet, gray sidewalk
A jigsaw in disarray –
The broken image of a season of discontent.
Sharp claws of cold scratch my face
While rain falls relentlessly
The river merging imperceptibly with the wet air.
 

I walk determined, ignoring my wet trouser legs,
Shivering even under layers of clothes
That fail to insulate me, leave me exposed
To late autumn weather;
The thought of you warms my core
And your sunny smile remembered moves me forward.
 

A sudden wind gust catches umbrellas
Turning them inside out, upside down,
And their owners struggle to discipline them.
The rain keeps falling
As I keep walking, each step takes me
Closer to you, my warm and cosy haven.
 

A homeless man wrapped in a dirty blanket
Sleeps fitfully as the rain soaks him
His wet hat failing to acknowledge the sound of my coin
Falling in its empty depths.
You are my home and no rain will keep me away
From your snug embrace.
 

I am soaked now but I can see your door,
All lit up brightly, a beacon in the gloom;
I smile, oblivious to the icy, biting wind
That only fans my ardour more,
This stolen hour just after midday
On a cold, wet, gray – but oh, so beautiful – day!

15 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful poem, Nick! Very effective contrast between what goes on in the poet's mind and heart and the world outside.

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  2. I really enjoyed all of the details you wrote into this poem, Nick. You really made is SEE the experience. Enjoyed 'a jigsaw in disarray' and 'his wet hat failing to acknowledge the sound of my coin.' You really put a lot INTO this poem. And by the time I reached the end I felt the excitement of finally reaching the destination of the beloved. And the rain and wind didn't dampen his enthusiasm ONE bit! Happy holidays to you!

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  3. Loved the pace of this poem, felt as though I was walking towards something myself.

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  4. Wonderful concrete descriptions here of the contrast between the inside and the outside. Thanks for posting this at Poetry Jam!

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  5. Enjoyed this walk. Particularly liked the line about the coin producing no sound. Great piece of description.

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  6. if there's someone who loves us waits somewhere, the walks in the rain become bearable... nice warmth in this

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  7. excellent reflective writing that touches the heart and mind. Well done.

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  8. Really beautiful, so descriptive. Lovely :)

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  9. Beautifully expressed poem. That love can enable you to endure almost everything and is the ultimate raison d'etre. Excellent work.

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  10. wonderful.....love makes gray look bright and beautiful....

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  11. Nothing better than stealing an hour with a loved one on a cold rainy day.

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  12. Beautiful poem about the joy of seeing the beloved

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  13. Fantastic poem - loved the duality of the images you write about

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