MOVIE MONDAY ON THE WEB

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!” – Sir Walter Scott

OK, I must admit it, when I was young I used to love reading comic books too. I mean I couldn’t always read Proust and Shakespeare and Marx and Stevenson, could I? In any case, I enjoyed reading all sorts of things and comic books full of super heroes are the modern-day mythologies. Superman and Batman, Spider-Man and Aquaman, the Fantastic Four and Captain America. I had a friend who had an attic full of comic books so I used to borrow them all and read them at the weekends.

When the comic book heroes were transferred to the big screen, I watched with amusement, sometimes with wonder sometimes with bemused surprise at the more or less successful adaptation of comic book into comic movie… Superman (1978) was a big hit and rightly so as the casting was excellent, with Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder a well-matched pair, transferring well to the screen. Batman (1989) interesting, not the least because of the surprising choice for the lead, Michael Keaton, who until then was definitely not super hero material. The rather prosaic Fantastic Four (2005) and the abominable Captain America (1990).

Spider-Man came into the scene in 2002 with a satisfying transference of comic book to celluloid. Tobey Maguire was young and fresh, playing the superhero role with sufficient wide-eyed wonder to allow all young fans to identify with him. The story was good, the special effects excellent and the movie a success. Spider-Man 2 (2004) a good sequel, with a continuation of the shenanigans and high spirits, more web-spinning adventures and poignant soul-searching for our hero.

Last weekend we saw Spider-Man 3 (2007) and wished we hadn’t. It was too long, too full of special effects, too many villains, too much of a dog’s breakfast. There were some funny scenes (unintentional, but just ridiculous), the attempts at poignancy heavy-handed and false and the action way too violent and gratuitous. The plot is disjointed and episodic, the villains like a sampler at an ID parade in the police station and the romantic interludes wishy-washy. The “dark side” of Peter Parker with the emo side of his self plain ludicrous. The black glop that makes it all happen is just stupid.

OK I said I liked comic books and super heroes but obviously not enough to forgive whatever glop is dished out. If they dare to make a Spider-Man 4, I am calling the pest exterminators...