Tuesday, 14 October 2014

POETRY JAM - GRAVEYARDS


“Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.” - J.M. Barrie

Poetry Jam for the latest challenge directs: “This week, write a poem about a graveyard…” In addition, there is added condition that the poem must be 28 lines or less. Here is my offering:

Spring Funeral

Spring deep in earth awakens sodden seeds
Making more acute my pressing needs;
The rain that gently falls will wash me clean
No more will I my painful memories glean.

I loved you such a long time ago
And yet I chose dreams to forego.

The greenwood leaves unfurl and open fresh
The breeze still cool, tempers my burning flesh;
Desires, passions, loves I bury deep in earth
Path chosen, heart dies, mind more is worth.

I loved you such a long time ago
But now allegro turns to largo.

As flowers fresh are laid by a new dug grave
Your thin disguised betrayal I forgave;
The falling night will usher in the stars
Silence – except for mournful cries of nightjars.

I loved you such a long time ago
Now where to turn? To whom to go?

20 comments:

  1. interesting last couple stanzas...the betrayal of death...leaving them behind to deal with life alone...
    i know that...effective use of repetition...

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  2. This is si sad, Nicholas... Beautifully poignant with the sense of loss and despair.

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  3. Sad. Isn't it odd that something this personal and painful is a daily common occurrence experienced by almost everyone on the planet at some point? Still doesn't take away the pain.

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  4. when passions, desires, loves everything is buried deep how can the heart live?...a very poignant write...

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  5. Poignant reflections, Nick. I really like the way you expressed allegro turning to largo. Some losses live in one's mind for a long time.

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  6. Sad and very touching, Nicholas.

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  7. This is very poignant, Nick. Death can indeed feel like betrayal in a way although it is one that is easier to forgive.

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  8. The repeated line "I loved you such a long time ago" is so bittersweet. A moment of reflection and pain.

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  9. poignant, a sense of sweet sorrow that never seems to go completely away, like the repetition itself... I like the contrast & possibility of hope for rebirth the photo offers

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  10. Skillfully done. I know there is a story in this and you hint at it very effectively.

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  11. Lovely poem capturing the melancholy of loss and betrayal. The recurring refrain adds to the poignancy...

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  12. A sad poem of death and finality. My grandmother used to say just keep on putting one foot in front of the other....tis all we can do !

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  13. A lovely expression of loss: well crafted - the form lends itself well, to an elegy, of sorts.

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  14. beautiful lines..of betrayal and to face life alone is difficult..

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  15. So many beautiful lines in this Nicholas. A sad yet moving and beautiful write!

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  16. except for mournful cries of nightjars.- I just love that, excellent line that really captures the heart. Excellent.

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  17. Beautifuly melancholic and I too, like the repetition of the line.

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  18. I loved you such a long time ago
    Now where to turn? To whom to go?

    nice lines and so many times a good question

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