FRIENDS

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” - Helen Keller

The What’s Going On blog informs us that July 30 is International Friendship Day, as proclaimed by the UN General Assembly in 2011, so as to promote friendship between people, countries, cultures and individuals with the aim to build bridges between communities enhancing peace efforts. Friendship is one of the glories of humankind and is an indisputable part of the meaning of “being human”. Here is my poem and as usual, the song from it is linked below it.

Friends

We are best friends,
Our bond never ends
We are friends…

When things aren’t right, when dark the night,
You feel so down, when wearing a frown —
Call on me, friend, what’s broke we’ll mend.

We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, together we’ll sigh,
We’ll eat ice cream, while sharing a dream,
Talk until dawn, without a yawn…

Friends, you and I, we see eye to eye;
Never pretending,  our love unending —
Giving and living, each other forgiving.

When everything’s good, with you I would
Share all the best, you are my guest;
Fun times together, bitter words never.

Loving each other, like sister or brother
We are the team that makes our dream
Really come true, just me and you!

Friends, you and I, we see eye to eye;
Never pretending,  our love unending —
Giving and living, each other forgiving.

Friends are forever, so we will part never,
Our bond is too strong, will last our life long,
Friends you and I, we have a deep tie…
Friends we will be, always together,
Through the rough weather,
Giving each other a hug and a helping hand…

This poem is set to music, and you can find all references to my music in my “Otidorchestre” channel, or listen to it on YouTube, Spotify,  Amazon, Deezer, Flo, Pandora, and other music sharing sites.

MY NEW NOVEL

My new novel "The Nursing Home" has been published and is available on Amazon. I've been told by several people that it's a good read :-)

CORONAVIRUS DIARIES XI

 

“All I maintain is that on this earth there are pestilences and there are victims, and it’s up to us, so far as possible, not to join forces with the pestilences.” ― Albert Camus, The Plague 

And here we are in Melbourne, living in Lockdown #2, back to confining ourselves at home unless it is absolutely necessary to go out. Many people are now jobless, many shops have closed indefinitely, some businesses having closed down for good. Traffic has become greatly reduced, people are staying indoors, the City has ground down to an almost complete halt. International flights can no longer land in Melbourne Airport and Melburnians cannot leave the City on the pain of stiff fines. The police are maintaining the quarantine on all major routes out of the city and people are once again afraid of the invisible enemy, COVID-19, a “wicked virus”, in our Premier’s words…

The number of cases to date: Australia has recorded 11,611 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 122 deaths. These figures are from a national dataset of every confirmed case since January 25, when the country’s first four cases were reported. The death of three more coronavirus victims overnight in Victoria now means that more people have died in our state during the second wave of the pandemic than in the first. A total of 38 Victorians have now passed away since the first case in Australia was identified on January 25. Today, Victorian authorities also announced an additional 363 new cases, pushing the state’s total number of cases to 3,898 since the pandemic started. Our Premier is justly distressed and so should every one of us! 

What next? Come Thursday this week, all people over 12 years of age will need to wear face masks or other suitable face coverings if they venture out of their homes for the only four legitimate reasons they can do so:
1)    To go to work or study, only if they are unable to do those activities at their home;
2)    To obtain medical care or provide medical care;
3)    To go shopping for essentials, but only locally;
4)    To exercise daily under strict social distancing guidelines, and only locally.

Of course some people are self-isolating under quarantine conditions, for example, if they have been tested for COVID-19 and they are awaiting results; if they are positive for COVID-19 and they are symptomless; if they have contacted confirmed cases of COVID-19. Needless to say that hospitalised patients suffering symptoms of coronavirus infection are also quarantined and being given the necessary treatment for their disease. Fortunately, the vast majority of people diagnosed with COVID-19 have not needed to be hospitalised. Of 2,930 current or “active” cases, only 135, or 5 per cent are receiving hospital care. This includes 29 patients in ICU (or 1 per cent of current cases).

As the COVID-19 pandemic resurges in our city, there has been considerable discussion in the media about the impact the virus is having on our psychological state, our mental health, our propensity to abnormal behaviour patterns including suicide. While physical distancing is preventing the spread of coronavirus, it has also created multiple problems, including isolation, loneliness, anxiety and in some cases increased tendency for violent or aberrant behaviour. For those who are now jobless or whose business is going under because of the economic downturn, the impact on the individuals involved, their families and careers is significant, and the uncertainty about the future hard to deal with.

Still, many of us have been able to deal with the tough measures of the restrictions and the home isolation has been a catalyst for relationships to be strengthened and reaffirmed, including developing new ways to work together in order to cope with the new status quo. Students have had to deal with novel ways of instruction, including remote learning and technology-assisted education. Many workers are logging onto their workplace from their home computers and there are even reports that productivity has increased while staff are working from home. Thus there is proof of the renewal and importance of reaching out and being socially connected even while physically separated.

We must acknowledge that both Federal and State Governments have put in place measures to try to reduce the negative effects of COVID-19 restrictions. These measures have included significant initiatives to support employment and maintain financial security. I consider myself lucky to be living in a country where there is still enough social conscience in our politics so that governments are doing all they can to support all who need looking after in these dire times.

As far as we as individuals are concerned, what can we do to support others and help our loved ones, our families, our friends our community? Simple, really:
1)    Look after yourself – be cautious and prudent. Follow the directives of the experts and law-makers, for they will help you stay safe and healthy.
2)    Support the people close to you, first in your household, then your family and friends further afield. Keep in contact – the ways to do this nowadays are numerous and within reach of everyone.
3)    Volunteer to do some work for a mutual aid group in your community (for example, go here: https://www.volunteer.com.au/)
4)    Support local businesses as much as you can by shopping in stores that are struggling to survive. Small businesses have a much tougher time surviving times of economic crisis.
5)    Support the FoodBank if you can (see: https://www.foodbank.org.au/covid-19/?state=vic)
6)    Write a letter to a stranger! Contacting your local nursing home or elderly people’s home you can obtain information on residents who may be lacking visitors while their family and friends stay away.
7)    If you have a garden and you produce fruit and vegetables, consider sharing your excess produce with nearby friends and neighbours. You may also give them seeds and seedlings that you have in excess.
8)    If you can, help students studying at home with some tutoring in your area of expertise (see: https://www.embrace-education.org/volunteer)
9)    Give to charities and support groups caring for those in need: Homeless, people experiencing mental health problems, those who live alone.
10)    Join an online companionship and entertainment group. You can find many of these catering for people with similar interests (see: https://www.abc.net.au/news/science/2020-03-17/coronavirus-online-support-groups/12060530)

Keep safe, think before you act, be kind, support those around you, be well!

CORONAVIRUS DIARIES V

“She refused to be bored chiefly because she wasn’t boring.” ― Zelda Fitzgerald 

How is your social isolation going? Are you being good, staying at home like you are supposed to, or are you being stupid and going out and about and spreading virus around? Despite the number of detected cases of infection surpassing the million mark worldwide today and the number of deaths due to COVID19 reaching 54,000, there are those idiots amongst us who still believe they are not likely to be infected and behave as though things were normal. The result is that often, they are harbouring the virus, which is spread to their every contact. Thankfully, the case of the active, deliberate spreader of infection who knows they are positive and go out to infect others, is rare (remember that type in the days of rampant AIDS?).

I was speaking to an acquaintance on the phone today and she told me that she was going out of her mind locked up indoors, with nothing to do, except getting terminally bored. I was not surprised as she is a boring person. Staying at home has been a boon for me as I am now doing many things that I had no time to do before. I don’t mean having ample time to reorganise the pantry, tidy the kitchen cupboards and drawers, polish the silver and wash the crystal; clean the bathrooms, dust the house, mop the floor and vacuum all the rugs (twice). Well, yes one does all of those things and they are out of the way the first few days… Afterwards, there is plenty of time left to do all of the fun, interesting things!

COVID does has a silver lining and staying indoors, I am now enjoying reading many more books than I was normally (currently reading the excellent “Mother Tongue” by Bill Bryson). I am spending more time painting, sketching, and sorting through my art journals. I play more music and have more opportunity to compose. I write, spend time on my computer sorting my thousands of photographs. I have time to talk more with family members and friends (on the phone!). Watch a movie (we saw the wonderful old film “The Education of Little Tree” ) the other night. At home, I can play cards or some board games with family, look at old photo albums with them, reminisce, have a laugh. Luckily we have a garden and it is a pleasure to go there and spend time tending the flowers, or take a cold drink and sit out and enjoy the sunshine. The list is endless and the enjoyment one derives from one’s hobbies and interests is immense.

Fortunately, we are still able to go out of the house and do some exercise. I still savour my morning walks and I see people walking their dogs, or luxuriating in the sun with their children in tow. Everyone is quite conscious of social distancing and they keep a respectful distance from other walkers, although some people are quite ridiculously cautious. I always keep well away from other people when I pass them, but smile at them and greet them with a hearty “good morning”. Most smile back and greet me, but there are a few who scowl at me and either mumble something unintelligible through a face mask or purse their lips and walk on by in silence. Excuse me, people, we can practice social distancing but we don’t have to grow distant from one another!

Here are some things to do at home:
READ!
Explore the Gutenberg free ebooks site, it’s quite amazing!

LISTEN TO MUSIC!
Of course there is YouTube, but searching the net you can find some interesting other sites where you can listen to some genres of music that you have never heard of before!
LEARN TO PLAY A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT!
Take out that guitar that has been gathering dust in your cupboard, or plug that electronic keyboard back into the power point.
Online resources to help you learn are plentiful. For example, Udemy.
SEE A FILM OR AN INTERESTING DOCUMENTARY!
Explore Vimeo, and Popcornflix.
LEARN A LANGUAGE!
Take out your old French, Spanish, German, Indonesian or Chinese language books from school and brush up your linguistic skills. There are numerous sites on the net that can help you.
DRAW, PAINT, DO CRAFT!
Yes, it’s time to take out the colour pencils, paints or crafting tools and get into some fun, relaxing, creative activities. There are plenty of offerings to inspire you online.
COOK SOMETHING NEW AND UNUSUAL!
Lots of cookbooks lying around or masses of stuff online to get your mouth watering!
REDISCOVER AN OLD HOBBY!
Take out that old stamp collection and look through it, you may find a rare stamp worth thousands of dollars! OK, that’s unlikely, but you may be pleasantly surprised as you remember your green years.
LEARN TO PLAY A NEW (OR OLD!) BOARD GAME!
Anyone for chess, backgammon, Scrabble, Trivial Pursuit, Yahtzee, draughts, Dungeons and Dragons, cards? Raid the cupboard in the living room and get those games out.
TALK TO PEOPLE!
Face-to-face with your family, housemates; on the phone with people far from you; online with others.
GET TO KNOW YOUR KIDS
Yes, they live there and you’ll see more of them now. Spend time with them, share activities and discover common interests. Talk with them, listen to them, enjoy their company.
W O R K !
Of course many people are working at home and they may find it difficult to do so with all the other people around being noisy and enjoying all of the above. Please be mindful of the breadwinner trying desperately to do some work and give them the space and the quiet they need!

Stay indoors and see the confinement as an opportunity to unwind, to refill your batteries and to enjoy some of the things that you didn’t have the time to enjoy before COVID came to visit us…

MUSIC SATURDAY - JEREMY CAVATERRA

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.” - Lucius Annaeus Seneca 

Contemporary “serious” music (i.e. music based on formal models of the classical tradition) can be a minefield to navigate. There are many significant contemporary composers the world over who are busy producing music – concertos, sonatas, suites, symphonies, operas, however, when one listens to it all it’s hard to pick up the truly talented, original voice through all of the avant-garde “noise” and attention-seeking trumpet-blaring of the composers’ own trumpets. My personal experience has shown that people still like to relate to music that is tuneful, emotionally involving and creates a world that is inviting and fulfilling on a sentimental (in its best possible meaning!) level.

Several loooong minutes of jangling noise played fortissimo by a full orchestra in jarring, cross-rhythms with no form, no harmony and no melody will find few fans (except perhaps the poseur music critics who wish to appear knowledgeable and forward-looking, and who rave about it in appropriately tall ivory towers). Now, don’t get me wrong – I don’t like the direct opposite: Saccharine sweet “classical muzak” suitable for playing in shopping malls and lifts. You know the kind, either maudlin, romantic, schmaltzy stuff, or jolly, falsely jocose stuff that is so plastic! Many recent films are filled with sorry examples of the latter two.

I am fortunate enough to count amongst my small circle of friends a contemporary composer who is talented, hard-working and genuine about the music he writes. I have known him for many years and I admire his work (incidentally not only his music, but also his writing and his art, as he is multi-talented in that way!). He is Jeremy Cavaterra, currently residing in California, USA. 

Jeremy Cavaterra (1971–) was born in New York City, where he studied at Manhattan School of Music. His music has been performed by soloists, chamber groups, and orchestras internationally. As a pianist he has appeared as both soloist and collaborative artist with ensembles, instrumentalists, and singers, often performing his own work. He is Composer-in-Residence for The Salastina Music Society, based in Los Angeles.

Recent performances include The Aquarium with The Young People’s Symphony Orchestra; and Nemeton, featuring Pacific Symphony oboe principal Jessica Pearlman Fields (November 2016). Early in 2017, Mission Chamber Orchestra of San Jose will perform the world premiere of Lost Coast, a work commissioned by that ensemble.

Jeremy has been commissioned to compose a cello concerto for Los Angeles Philharmonic principal Robert deMaine and is now working on that (as well as continuing his other creative pursuits in many fields!). Here is Jeremy Cavaterra’s Lost Coast, performed by the Misson Chamber Orchestra of San Jose, conducted by Emily Ray.


You can hear more of Jeremy’s work on his personal site here.

POETS UNITED - TWO SOULS

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” - Aristotle

In ancient Greek the word for butterfly is “psyché”, the same word for “soul”. Psyche was also the name of Eros’ human lover (see the myth here). The Koiné Greek word ψυχή (psychē), “life, spirit, consciousness”, is derived from a verb meaning “to cool, to blow”, and hence refers to the breath, as opposed to σῶμα (sóma), meaning “body”.

This week in Poets United, the theme for the Midweek Motif is “Two Souls: Caged and Free”. Here is my poem:

Liebe

Liebe (leeb-e, f): Love, affection, fondness.

First entry on page 162 of my “Deutsch-Englisches Wörtebuch”

Just as you left it open for me to discover...

“Liebe” is what you feel and you tremble in its grip,

Enjoying the sweet pain of its discovered existence,

Being tortured by the bitter pleasures of its awakening.

“Liebe” in the first sense is what you feel for me,

“Liebe” in the third sense is what I feel for you,

Our “Liebe” for one another so different...

“Liebe” you cry out to me silently and you hope for me to understand

Your insistent sweet melodies, the blooming gardens of your captive soul;

You hope to wake in me the same sweet “Liebe” that consumes you...

“Liebe” will bring us tears, so smile now while we still can,

Enjoy the bright sunshine of this southern Spring,

Banish the thoughts of approaching northern Winter.

Ach! Liebe! Die Liebe hat gelogen!*

Do not believe her secret, syrupy whisperings…

Your soul a prisoner of love’s enthralment;

My soul restless, free to roam – for fondness does not bind it.

Refrain, restrain yourself!

Don’t let your heart be broken!

(*Oh! Love! Love has lied)

ON DEATH

“Those who have the strength and the love to sit with a dying patient in the silence that goes beyond words will know that this moment is neither frightening nor painful, but a peaceful cessation of the functioning of the body.” - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

The death of our family friend last week is still uppermost in my mind, but now, after the funeral, even his family is beginning to adjust to the idea that his life has ended. I was thinking as the priest was reading the last rites at the graveside that we all live as though we were immortal, thinking little of our own death. How different our life would be if we realised how temporary our existence is, how precarious, how fragile.

“Memento mori”, the ancients said, “remember that you have to die” and they scattered around their home and workplace reminders of their mortality: Skulls, butterflies, flowers, hourglasses, and other images and symbols of the ephemeral nature of life. We have become estranged from this omnipresent reminder of death, our culture being one of youth and wellness, ignoring death at our peril. We incarcerate our elderly in nursing homes (out of sight and out of mind), we pursue eternal youth in the form of creams, botox, hair dye, exercise regimes and plastic surgery, and we idolise the young and modern.

Death has become a dirty word in our days. Think of the euphemisms we turn to instead of simply saying “he died”: “Passed away”, “slept the sleep of the righteous”, “gone away”, “expired”, “demised”, “gone to meet his Maker”, “shuffled off the mortal coil”, “gave up the ghost”, “resting in peace”, etc, etc… Death is part of life, not just the end of it. We should be familiar with it and not afraid of it – whoever is afraid of death is afraid of life too. Thinking of death (especially our own) makes us respect life more. And when the time comes for us to die, we are ready to do so, peacefully and with resignation.

Long, Long Night

This Winter evening comes too soon,

And the sun weak, pallid, frosty

Hurries behind the dun clouds

To sink below the far horizon’s line.

As violet twilight rapidly darkens

Into an obsidian night,

A lonely candle burns by my bedside

Sputtering with an unsure flame.

The air is frigid but my breath seems colder

Coming in shortening gasps,

My broken lungs submerged

In icy oceans of choking phlegm.

My skin is sallow, like the yellow wall

Where candle flame illumines

Cracking plaster, mirroring

My wrinkled face, my lined hands.

The wind whistles, the timbers creak,

And sounds of dry bones

Rubbing against the flagstones

Tell me the dark rider is nearing.

The night is long, black, cold;

An endless night with a dawn so distant

That it may as well never arrive,

My candle flickers, hisses, goes out.

My heart falters, misses beats,

Trembles weakly, palpitates;

The machine is worn out, faulty,

Damaged by years of constant use.

The door is open now and as the wind howls,

The sombre bony rider enters.

As I draw in my last and laboured breath,

I hope against hope that this darkest moment

Of the cold, black, long, long night

Comes just before a bright new dawn…

A DEATH

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.” - Steve Jobs

For the past few weeks we have had a dear family friend fighting for his life, in and out of hospital. He was diagnosed a couple of months ago with lung cancer, which unfortunately became very aggressive very quickly and did not respond to treatment. His family and friends stood by his side and we were all devastated by his loss last week. His wake was today and tomorrow is his funeral. He was a simple, quiet and very community-minded man who loved his family and would do everything to help his relatives and friends.

Death

“I’ve lived a good life,” said he to me,

“I’ve loved and hated, worked and played.

I’ve lived a full life,” he confessed,

“I’ve left only few things untried.

Experiences varied, broad I have collected,

All those I’ve met I’ve not regretted.”

“I look at death before me, now,” he told me,

“I like the purposefulness in his stony gaze.

I lean towards him with my hands outstretched,” he said,

“I long to live through this, my ultimate encounter;

My mind replete with images and sound

Will welcome this last meeting, sure to astound.”

“I tell you, don’t be sad,” he said to me,

“I think this is a journey that will thrill me.

I tremble with excitement, not with dread,

I taste sweet wine, not bitter gall nor poison.

My heart is restful,” softly, he sighed,

“My soul is free…” he said to me – and died.

GIVING THANKS

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” - William Arthur Ward

The USA and Australia are on very friendly terms and the two countries have a special relationship as far as international affairs go. I guess this is understandable as we share many common things: A British colonial origin, a pioneering past, a chequered history of indigenous peoples relations, a country built on migrant stock (many of common ancestry – English, Irish, Scottish, and other Europeans, Chinese), gold rushes, eventual independence from colonial rule, a democratic system of government, similar values and culture, etc, etc. However, don’t get me wrong, I am the first to acknowledge that there are striking differences also.

The influence of American culture on Australia is quite marked and an American who visits Australia will find many things to remind him/her of home. Not the least of which is the adoption of many American holidays and customs: Valentine’s Day, Mother’s and Father’s Day, Halloween, many Christmas and New Year’s Eve traditions. This makes sense as the capitalist economies of both countries thrive on the financial benefits and increased consumer spending that accompany these ‘adopted’ celebrations and traditions.

One American holiday that quite regrettably has not been transplanted across the Pacific is Thanksgiving. I always admired this holiday, and especially so after celebrating it with American friends when visiting their country some time ago. Call me old-fashioned and sentimental, but I really enjoyed the spirit of this celebration that is all about families getting together around a celebratory meal. The giving of thanks for all the good things that have happened and that one should be grateful for in the past year, and the giving of thanks for a bountiful harvest struck me as a wonderful cause for celebration.

It is not surprising perhaps that Thanksgiving has not been adopted more widely around the world. It does not lend itself to as much consumer spending as say, Valentine’s Day or Christmas (when billions are spent on decorations, presents and public celebration). In addition, Thanksgiving seems a trifle anachronistic and cheesily old-fashioned. To celebrate the blessings of the past year with one’s family and give thanks for a plentiful harvest doesn’t seem to hold much appeal to “modern”, urban dwellers who have originated from nuclear families and perhaps are happily single or in “alternative” types of relationships. The religious overtones of Thanksgiving (having an origin in church services of gratitude) are also something that may rankle the sensibilities of the secular and hedonistic yuppies out there.

Even more importantly, I think, as we “progress” and “advance” in this country we are forgetting to give thanks, acknowledge the good things that happen to us. In our quest for increasing numbers of consumer goods, new technological gadgets, bigger houses, flashier, shinier cars and the latest fashion fads, we are forgetting something about what makes us special as humans – our innate humanity and our interdependence with other people and the special relationships that we share with them. When was the last time you hugged a special person in your life and thanked them for being there for you? When did you sit and talk with a member of your family to reminisce and express your gratitude for their presence in your life? When was the last time when you acknowledged the special contribution that your friends and acquaintances have made to your life?

Norfolk Island is a small island in the Pacific Ocean located between Australia, New Zealand and New Caledonia, 1,412 kilometres directly east of mainland Australia's Evans Head, and about 900 kilometres from Lord Howe Island. The island is part of the Commonwealth of Australia. Together with two neighbouring islands, it forms one of Australia’s external territories. It has 2,300 inhabitants living on a total area of about 35 km2. Its capital is Kingston. Although Thanksgiving is not celebrated on mainland Australia, on Norfolk Island, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the last Wednesday of November, similar to the pre-World War II American observance on the last Thursday of the month. This means the Norfolk Island observance is the day before or six days after the United States’ observance. The holiday was brought to the island by visiting American whaling ships. What a wonderful custom to have picked up from these visitors!

It may be time for mainland Australians to pick up this American holiday and adopt it in a way that will enrich our lives. Thanskgiving and expressing gratitude is something that we should be doing more of. Ingratitude is a vile quality and the mark of a base, selfish and uncultured individual who does not truly appreciate what he has earnt or has been given. We should be thankful for our countless blessings and be quite vocal about it. A formal day when we reflect on this and show our thanks to those around us is a wonderful opportunity.

Happy Thanksgiving to my American friends who read this blog and thank you to all the special people in my life – you are appreciated and loved.

ON TOLERANCE

“The highest result of education is tolerance.” - Helen Keller

On this planet we are blessed with a diversity that has ensured the survival of life in one form or another for millennia upon millennia. It is this diversity that allows evolution and survival. It is this diversity that ensures adaptation to adverse environments. There is no surer way to die out as a species than to be uniform and unchangeable. Rigidity and inflexibility, in a biological sense, will sooner or later cause extinction.

Human beings have managed over the ages of life on planet earth to reach a position of domination over all of the other life forms, such that the fate of all other species on this planet depends on our whims and fancies, our activities and behaviour. We pride ourselves on being rational, thinking creatures and yet we destroy our planet systematically, wipe out thousands of species of living things each year. As if that weren’t enough, internecine hostility within our own species, threatens humanity itself on many fronts.

Tolerance is respect, acceptance and appreciation of the rich diversity of our world’s cultures, our forms of expression and ways of being human. Tolerance is harmony in difference. We view tolerance as a way of thinking and feeling (most importantly though, of acting) that gives us peace in our individuality, respect for those unlike us, the wisdom to discern humane values and the courage to act upon them. An adoption of tolerance by a diverse community equips its members with skills necessary to live together peacefully.

Ethnic conflicts, human rights violations, intolerance, nationalism and racism are, together with low environmental awareness, main threats to stability of the present world. Globalisation and growing multiculturalism in nation states bring such issues to the attention of many policy makers as well as impacting on the life of ordinary people. Teachers may play a very progressive role in the process of combating intolerance and racism and can articulate the bottom-up policies for social change. Individuals and community groups can foster an attitude of tolerance – tolerance depends on all of us for its active implementation.

tolerance |ˈtäl(ə)rəns| noun

1 the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with : the tolerance of corruption | an advocate of religious tolerance.

• the capacity to endure continued subjection to something, esp. a drug, transplant, antigen, or environmental conditions, without adverse reaction : the desert camel shows the greatest tolerance to dehydration | species were grouped according to pollution tolerance | various species of diatoms display different tolerances to acid.

• diminution in the body's response to a drug after continued use.

2 an allowable amount of variation of a specified quantity, esp. in the dimensions of a machine or part : 250 parts in his cars were made to tolerances of one thousandth of an inch.

ORIGIN late Middle English (denoting the action of bearing hardship, or the ability to bear pain and hardship): via Old French from Latin tolerantia, from tolerare.

MOVIE MONDAY - FROM HERE TO ETERNITY

“Older men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.” - Herbert Hoover

We watched a film classic last weekend. It was the 1956 Fred Zinnemann movie, “From Here to Eternity” with a screenplay by Daniel Taradash, based on James Jones’ novel and starring Burt Lancaster, Montgomery Clift, Deborah Kerr, Frank Sinatra, Donna Reed and Ernest Borgnine. This was classic 1950s black and white Hollywood, with a star-studded cast and a plot that seemed to be made to please everyone.

The action takes place in Hawaii, in 1941. Robert E. Lee Prewitt (Clift) has requested Army transfer and has ended up at Schofield in Hawaii. His new captain, Dana Holmes (Philip Ober), has heard of his boxing prowess and is keen to get him to represent the company. However, 'Prew' is adamant that he doesn't box anymore, so Captain Holmes gets his subordinates to make his life a living hell. Meanwhile Sergeant Warden (Lancaster) starts seeing the captain’s wife (Kerr), who has a history of seeking external relief from a troubled marriage. Prew’s friend Maggio (Sinatra) has a few altercations with the sadistic stockade Sergeant ‘Fatso’ Judson (Borgnine), and Prew begins falling in love with social club employee Lorene (Reed). Amidst all of this, the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor will cause havoc and loosen in one way or another some of the plot knots.

The film is an ensemble piece for the cast with quite interesting parts for both leads and supporting actors. Many of the actors were cast against type, but it all works well and they are quite believable in their role. The film is essentially an army story, telling of the lives of soldiers in peacetime Hawaii before the bombing of Pearl Harbor. It is a fairly good description of army life then (and the film is of sociological and historical interest, if nothing else), and the relationships that it depicts are genuine and believable, even if the whole turns out to be a bit of a pot-boiler.

Most of all, the acting credits go to Montgomery Clift, in what possibly is the best role of his career. He plays the assertive, funny, tough, sensitive and charismatic soldier, the rebellious loner with the streak of nobility. James Dean idolised him after seeing his portrayal in this film.

This was “the” film of 1953, having won eight Oscars, including Best Picture, against a very strong field which also included “Roman Holiday”, “Julius Caesar” and “Shane”, as well as Best Director for Fred Zinnemann. Five of the cast were nominated and two of them, Donna Reed (Alma) and Frank Sinatra (Maggio) won. This was the film that made Sinatra a big star as an actor as well as a singer. It is interesting that Frank Sinatra took the Oscar, when I thought Clift clearly deserved one more than Sinatra did.

Overall, we enjoyed seeing this film, which despite its age engaged and interested us for its whole nearly two-hour duration. The two scenes that are memorable are legendary in moviemaking are quite diametrically different: Lancaster and Kerr rolling around and being passionate in the Hawaiian surf while a wave rushes over their bodies; and the other being the attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese, brief, and with multiple inserts of newsreel footage and shots from an earlier documentary by Gregg Toland, but exciting and well done. Well worth seeing this bit of Hollywood history…

ON WANING FRIENDSHIPS

“The most fatal disease of friendship is gradual decay, or dislike hourly increased by causes too slender for complaint, and too numerous for removal.” - Samuel Johnson

friend |frend| noun
A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
• a person who acts as a supporter of a cause, organisation, or country by giving financial or other help: Join the Friends of Guilford Free Library.
• a person who is not an enemy or who is on the same side: She was unsure whether he was friend or foe.
• a familiar or helpful thing: He settled for that old friend the compensation grant.
• (often as a polite form of address or in ironic reference) an acquaintance or a stranger one comes across: My friends, let me introduce myself.
• (Friend) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.
verb [ trans. ] archaic or poetic/literary

befriend (someone).
• add (someone) to a list of friends or contacts associated with a weblog or electronic list: I am friended by 29 people who I have not friended back.

PHRASES

be (or make) friends with: Be (or become) on good or affectionate terms with (someone).
a friend at court: A person in a position to use their influence on one's behalf.

a friend in need is a friend indeed (proverb): A person who helps at a difficult time is a truly reliable person.
friends in high places: People in senior positions who are able and willing to use their influence on one's behalf.
DERIVATIVES
friendless |ˌfrɛn(d)ləs| adjective
ORIGIN Old English frēond, of Germanic origin; related to Dutch vriend and German Freund, from an Indo-European root meaning ‘to love,’ shared by free.

I was reading an old letter from a friend yesterday and I was impressed by the depth of feeling expressed in it. I sat back and thought carefully about my present relationship with this person. - And the term “waning” came into my mind, which I remembered as one of the things that I had been taught about in my old psychology classes about relationships.

Friendship according to the psychologists can be “nascent” – being born; “active” – in its most developed part; and lastly “waning” – petering out as the road parts for the two former friends. Obviously this differentiation will be different for each of our friendships and it can stop at any stage. A nascent friendship will often go no further as we get to know the person we are befriending and not like what we see (or vice-versa!), Or an active friendship may last the rest of our lives. It's the waning aspect that puzzled me yesterday, especially considering the depth of friendship that I had shared with the writer of the letter.

Trying to apply the theory behind human relationships that I learnt in psychology into the practicality of my own life is something that I have never actively tried to do. I have always seemed to know instinctively what “felt” right at the time and have acted accordingly, and thankfully I have not made many decisions that I have subsequently regretted

But this old letter brought to the fore an often recurring theme in my experience and I guess it must be the same in other people’s experience also… We befriend someone and for some time we may share so much, but then inexplicably, the relationship “wanes” and may completely disappear into nothing but a memory. Why? I analysed the relationship I had with this person and could find no fault with what I had done. After a couple of unanswered emails, one assumes that the person no longer wishes to continue communicating.

Is it the times we live in? Is it to do with people’s expectations of one another person nowadays? Is it to do with the sort of person that each of us attracts? Is it ennui, do we tire of that person that we thought so engaging not that long ago?

MOVIE MONDAY - MAD DOGS

“The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.” - H.L. Mencken

Sometimes you watch something on TV or watch a movie and you’re puzzled: You don’t know if you liked it or not, don’t know whether it was worth the effort or not… It was precisely in this gray zone we ended up in after watching the first season of the 2011, UK TV miniseries “Mad Dogs” directed by Adrian Shergold and starring Max Beesley, John Simm, Marc Warren, Philip Glenister and Ben Chaplin. Superficially this seemed like a polished black comedy/thriller, but on reflection all that shines is not gold. Thinking about it, it is a sign of our times as it panders to the worse of human nature and covers the basest of behaviours and the worse of characters. Its plot centres on modern mores and deals with easy money, a “crime pays” mentality, and devalues decency and human life. If we take it seriously… Which we didn’t, hence we watched it all, rather than turn it off in disgust.

Cris Cole has written the screenplay and the plot is as follows: Four friends, Woody, Quinn, Baxter, and Rick arrive in Majorca, Spain, to visit their old mate Alvo, who ostensibly is now a retired, wealthy property tycoon enjoying the trappings of an ex-pat lifestyle in a luxury villa in a remote idyllic location. One by one Alvo asks his friends what they’ve done with their lives, whether they’re truly happy, and whether would they rather live like him. The hedonistic mood of the friends soon changes when they realise Alvo isn’t quite the man they thought he was. The luxury yacht Alvo takes them on turns out to be stolen; Alvo’s business is anything but squeaky clean and their friend has dragged them into something exceedingly dangerous. A murder committed in front of their eyes makes them realise that easy money and a jet set lifestyle is quite often supported by a life of crime…

The locations on Majorca are wonderful and it’s worth seeing the series to enjoy that. The acting is also very good and the production values high as one would expect from a BBC series. The success of the first season of four episodes generated another three seasons. It also generated a 2015 American clone of “Mad Dogs” where the four friends visit their old schoolmate in Belize rather than Majorca. Once again, one has to wonder what makes a TV series like this so widely popular…

We didn’t regret seeing this, but we won’t be watching any further seasons/episodes. The characters are rather unlikeable with hardly any redeeming features, their motives suspect and their actions stupid, motivated by base instincts, greed and guilt. The plot is thin and predictable, the situations the characters find themselves in ridiculous. Should you watch it? I don’t know… If it falls in your lap (like it did in mine), then have a gawk at it. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother searching high and low for it.

JULIE ANDREWS, EPICURUS & GRATITUDE

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” - Epicurus

Remember Julie Andrews in “Sound of Music” as she burst into full song and listed some of “her favourite things” – things that made her happy? She certainly got the von Trapp children out of their melancholy mood… Isn’t that a wonderful idea, I thought, reflecting on all of those warm and fuzzy things, happy occasions that we experience… We sometimes appreciate them for what they are, but at other times ignore them, or miss them as they pass us by fleetingly, or even worse, we take them for granted. Reflecting on happy experiences makes us appreciate them all the more when they occur, but also they are the stuff of joyous memories, a storehouse of pleasure that we can resort to when we are feeling unhappy.

Epicurus (born 341 BC, Samos, Greece - died 270, Athens) was a Greek philosopher, author of an ethical philosophy of simple pleasure, friendship, and retreat. He founded schools of philosophy that survived directly from the 4th century BC until the 4th century AD. Very often his common sense, humanist views are misunderstood and his name has been perversely associated with the word “epicure” now signifying a person who takes particular pleasure in fine food and drink – a mere gourmet!

This is a gross simplification and distortion of his philosophy. Epicurus stated that pleasures of the mind, as opposed to the coarse pleasures of the body, are the ones to pursue. He taught that the highest pleasure obtainable is the pleasure of tranquillity, which is to be obtained by the removal of unsatisfied wants. The way to do this is to eliminate all but the simplest wants; these are then easily satisfied even by those who are not wealthy. There is difference between eating a simple meal to satisfy one’s hunger and indulging in the finest food and drink in a sumptuous banquet that will jade one’s palate, if carried to excess. What in fact Epicurus said about eating was that it’s not important what we dine on, what is most important is whom we share our meal with…

I am an epicurean at heart, and by that I mean that I embrace Epicurus’ philosophy: I pursue things that are “good”. How do we know if something is good? Epicurus enjoins us to ask if it increases pleasure or if it reduces pain. If it does this, it is good as a means; if it does not, it is not good at all. Thus, for example, to be just is good but is merely useful as it prevents mutual harm. Would we commit an injustice if we could get away with it? No, Epicurus says, because the constant fear of discovery will cause a painful anxiety – not good! Epicurus also glorified friendship, and the Epicureans were famous for the warmth of their personal relationships; but, again, they proclaimed that friendship is good only because of its tendency to create pleasure.

“Freedom from pain in the body and from trouble in the mind” is the ultimate aim of a happy life, Epicurus states. In addition, the wise man must also provide himself with security. This he achieves in two ways: By reducing his needs to a minimum and withdrawing, far from human competition and from the noise of the world, to “live a hidden life”; and by adding the private compact of friendship to the public compact from which laws arise. Epicurus established his philosophical school in his own garden, and he saw his students and friends there, in his home. Even when old and ill, he was still occupied in writing letters of reprimand, guidance, and comfort - announcing his teachings of peace, and (under the name of pleasure), inviting to love one’s fellow human beings.

Epicureanism was adopted by Lucretius who flourished in the first century BC. His name in full was Titus Lucretius Carus. He was a Latin poet and philosopher known for his single, long poem, De rerum natura (On the Nature of Things). The poem is the fullest extant statement of the physical theory of the Epicurus, but it also alludes to his ethical and logical doctrines. A useful book to read if you want to know more of Epicureanism is: “The Philosophy of Epicurus: Letters, Doctrines, and Parallel Passages from Lucretius”, translated by George K. Strodach (1963).

Now, having set the stage, let me populate it with the players in the form of my ten favourite, things that happened to me last week, things that gave me happiness and pleasure, and for which I am deeply grateful:

1. Seeing my eyes reflected in the eyes of my beloved as we held hands and listened to some quiet music, while rain fell outside.

2. Receiving a letter from my sponsored child in India and seeing his smile in the accompanying picture.

3. Coming back home safely after a long drive at night on congested roads and walking into the warm glow of a peaceful house after braving the cold, wet darkness outside, feeling grateful that all had gone well.

4. Enjoying a simple impromptu meal with friends after they called in unexpectedly. Compatible company, pleasant conversation, soft music in the background while we had a crisp garden salad and some freshly-baked savoury scones.

5. Feeling good - not having a health problem, appreciating my wellness of body, spirit and mind.

6. Appreciating my family, around me. Knowing that they are there for me when I need them and vice-versa.

7. Having a useful occupation. Furthermore, an occupation that I enjoy doing and feeling that I am helping a little bit to make the world a better place through my job.

8. Rejoicing in our garden, watching it through the window and appreciating the growth of flowers, vegetables and greenery in it, knowing that I am in the lucky minority around the world, in having one.

9. Receiving an unexpected card in the mail from an ex-student, saying she remembered me now that she is practicing her profession and thanking me for all she learnt with me as it is helping her much now.

10. Receiving some wonderful messages from my friends here on my blog.

What are your 10 favourite happy things that happened to you last week?

WORD THURSDAY - BETRAYAL

“If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.” - E.M. Forster

Betrayal: A word for Thursday that we all have encountered and which, for some of us at least, has marked our life, changed it in some dramatic way.

betray |biˈtrā| verb [ trans. ]

be disloyal to: His friends were shocked when he betrayed them.

• be disloyal to (one’s country, organisation, or ideology) by acting in the interests of an enemy: He could betray his country for love of money.

• treacherously inform an enemy of the existence or location of (a person or organisation): This group was betrayed by an informer.

• treacherously reveal (secrets or information): Many of those employed by diplomats betrayed secrets and sold classified documents.

• figurative - reveal the presence of; be evidence of: She drew a deep breath that betrayed her indignation.

DERIVATIVES

betrayal |-əl| noun

betrayer |bəˌtreɪər| noun

ORIGIN Middle English : from be- [thoroughly] + obsolete tray [betray,] from Old French trair, based on Latin tradere ‘hand over.’ Compare with traitor.

“All love the act of treason, but none the traitor love.” Plutarch remarks, and this is mostly true as people would think nothing of learning what a traitor divulges, but they condemn and despise the person that does this. To have one’s confidences betrayed, to be the victim of a betrayer of one’s secrets, the recipient of a friend’s disloyalty is one of the most miserable and distressing feelings one can feel. The closer the person is who has betrayed us, the greater the pain and anguish we experience when the betrayal is discovered.

A colleague at work who betrays us, causes perhaps the least distress as in many workplaces people have been used to a culture of competition and think nothing of stepping on others in order to advance or achieve their personal goals.

A relative who has stabbed us in the back generates a feeling of great pain, especially as we would expect love, support and comfort from members of our own family. However, many families are divided for a number of reasons, and betrayal in these situations is not uncommon.

If a person whom we have considered a friend betrays us, we feel a void within our soul where before he or she was ensconced. This is because we choose our friends and one of the reasons we befriend people is because we expect from them support and loyalty, the same that we are willing to offer in return.

Perhaps the greatest betrayal comes when we recognise in the betrayer the face of our partner. One’s wife or husband who betrays a spouse can deal the deepest wounds and generate the most heartache.

What makes someone betray another person? It would depend on the relationship between the two parties: Betrayer and betrayed.  Are we looking at friendships that have been contracted (on one side at least!) superficially? Is envy to be found lurking underneath these relationships? Is it a feeling of disgruntlement, rancour, personal gain that motivates the act of betrayal? In families betrayal often is caused by a wish for personal financial gain. Matters of inheritance can divide families and cause unbridgeable rifts. In marriages the betrayal by an unfaithful partner is the most common cause for the relationship to break down irretrievably.

In all cases, the feelings of anger, grief and loss experienced by the one who is betrayed are universal and may haunt that person for a long time. At the same time, they may be powerful stimuli for change. Changes in character are difficult to make, but changes in behaviour are more likely to be achieved. It certainly has changed me. I think that the experience has made me a stronger person, a wiser one, one who is more likely to rely more on logic than emotions as stimuli for actions. Betrayal causes the survivors to develop a harder outer shell in order to protect their inner vulnerability. I still have my soft centre, it’s just tougher to get at, now.

Have you been betrayed by a colleague, relative, friend, or partner? Did it change you?

(Image is “Judas betraying Jesus with a kiss”, from the illuminated book “Grandes Heures of Anne of Brittany”, produced between 1503 and 1508).