ART SUNDAY - GEORGIA O'KEEFFE

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for.” - Georgia O'Keeffe

 For Art Sunday today a great American artist of the 20th-century, Georgia O’Keeffe. Georgia O’Keeffe was born in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin in 1887. The second of seven children, O’Keeffe longed to be an artist from an early age. In 1905 she attended the Art Institute of Chicago and a year later went to study art in New York. Though her student work was well received she found it unfulfilling, and for a short time abandoned the fine arts. She worked briefly as a commercial artist in Chicago before moving to Texas to teach. During the summer of 1915, O’Keeffe took classes at the Teachers College of Columbia University in South Carolina, and there began her re-entry into the world of painting.

In South Carolina O’Keeffe met Arthur Dow, a specialist in Oriental Art. Dow’s interest in non-European art helped O’Keeffe move away from the forms she had found so stifling in her previous studies. Soon after O’Keeffe’s return to Texas, she made a handful of charcoal drawings, which she sent to Anna Pollitzer, a friend in New York. Pollitzer showed them to Alfred Stieglitz, a photographer and gallery owner. He was enthused with the vibrant energy of the work, and asked to show them. So, without her knowledge, Georgia O’Keeffe had her first exhibition in 1916 at Steiglitz’s “291 Gallery”.

Within two years, Steiglitz had convinced O’Keeffe to move to New York and devote all of her time to painting. His regular presentations of her work had begun to cause a buzz, and create for her a small following. Six years later the two were married, beginning one of the most fruitful and well-known collaborations of the modernist era. For the next twenty years the two would live and work together, Steiglitz creating an incredible body of photographic portraits of O’Keeffe, while O’Keeffe showed new drawings and paintings nearly every year at the gallery. Living in Lake George, New York, and in New York City, O’Keeffe painted some of her most famous work. During the 1920s, her large canvasses of lush overpowering flowers filled the still lives with dynamic energy and erotic tension, while her cityscapes were testaments to subtle beauty within the most industrial circumstances.

In 1929 O’Keeffe took a vacation with her friend Beck Strand to Taos, New Mexico. The trip would forever alter the course of her life. In love with the open skies and sun-drenched landscape, O’Keeffe returned every summer to travel and to paint. When Steiglitz in 1946 died, O’Keeffe took up permanent residence in New Mexico. More than almost any of her other works, these early New Mexico landscapes and still lifes have come to represent her unique gifts. The rich texture of the clouds and sky were similar to her earlier, more sensuous representations of flowers. But beneath these clouds one found the bleached bones of animals long gone.

Throughout the 1950s and 1960s, O’Keeffe’s renown continued to grow. She travelled around the world and had a number of major retrospective exhibitions in the U.S. The most important came in 1970 at the Whitney Museum of American Art, establishing her as one of the most important and influential American painters. The next year O’Keeffe’s vision deteriorated dramatically, and she withdrew from artistic life. It was not until 1973, after meeting Juan Hamilton, a young ceramic artist, that she returned to working. With his encouragement and assistance, she resumed painting and sculpting. In 1976 her illustrated autobiography, was a best seller, and the next year she received the Medal of Freedom from President Gerald Ford.

In 1985 she received the Medal of the Arts from President Ronald Reagan. In March of the next year, at the age of 98, O’Keeffe passed away at St. Vincent’s Hospital in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Georgia O’Keeffe’s work remains a prominent part of major national and international museums. For many, her paintings represent the beginnings of a new American art divorced from the blasé “-isms” of the late 20th century.

The painting above is her “Jimson Weed” of 1936. The large scale of the work exemplifies O’Keeffe’s philosophy: “I decided that if I could paint that flower in a huge scale, you could not ignore its beauty.”

SWEET REPOSE

“Each morning sees some task begin, Each evening sees it close; Something attempted, something done, Has earned a night's repose” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A quiet day with an even quieter evening at home. Nothing better than some gorgeous Bach to cap the day off and lead into the repose of the night. Here is the second movement, Largo Ma Non Tanto, of Johann Sebastian Bach’s, Double Violin Concerto in D minor (BWV 1043).

The Concerto for Two Violins in D minor is perhaps one of the most famous works by J. S. Bach and considered among the best examples of the work of the late Baroque period. Bach wrote it in Leipzig sometime between 1730 and 1731, most likely for the Leipzig Collegium Musicum, of which he was the director. It also exists in an arrangement for two harpsichords, transposed into C minor (BWV 1062). The concerto comprises three movements: Vivace; Largo ma non tanto; Allegro.

In addition to the two soloists, the concerto is scored for strings and basso continuo. The concerto is characterised by the subtle yet expressive relationship between the two solo violins and the accompanying strings throughout the work. The musical structure of this piece uses fugal imitation and much counterpoint. The middle slow movement has a mood of tranquil repose and the sweet melodies are as mellifluous as a gentle lullaby. Enjoy!

THE EPIPHANY

“A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril” - Winston Churchill

Today the Christian Church celebrates the Epiphany. The Epiphany (also called Theophany) celebrates three important events in the Christian calendar.  The first is the arrival of the Magi in Bethlehem and the adoration of the Christ Child; the second is the baptism of Christ by John the Baptist; the third the miracle at Cana, where Jesus turned water into wine, when there was no more wine for the guests at that same wedding that Jesus was invited to.

In the Western Christian churches, the adoration of the Magi is the most important of these celebrations while in Eastern churches, Christ’s baptism is the most important.  The word epiphania in Greek means “manifestation” and refers to the appearance of the Christ child to the Magi. The winter jasmine (yellow jasmine), Jasminum nudiflorum, is a flower symbolic of the Epiphany and is also an attribute of the Virgin Mary.

In Greece, the ritual of the blessing of the waters is carried out today to commemorate Christ’s baptism. After the divine morning liturgy in church, the clergy and the people join a procession with the blessed cross to the nearest body of living water (lake, sea or river). If there is no body of open water near the church, the blessing ceremony is held outside the church in a baptismal font filled with water. At the end of the ceremony the priest will bless the waters by casting a cross into the water. If practicable, it is now the turn of volunteers – mostly young men – to participate in the ceremony. They dive into the water to recover the cross. The lucky one who returns the cross to the priest, receives a special blessing. In the past a gold cross to wear around the neck was the custom, but it is unfortunate that nowadays this is no longer done.

The church liturgy also blesses water in the church and the Greek Orthodox faith teaches that on this day a miracle happens as the blessing is performed and the nature of the blessed water changes and it becomes holy and incorrupt. People take this Holy Water at home and sprinkle their house, their fields, their animals. They also drink it, believing they derive a special blessing from these rituals. Sprinkling the waters also cleans the world of the mischievous Kalikantzaroi (the pesky goblins that trick and torment God-fearing Christians throughout the festive season).

As it is Food Friday, we should mention that in Greek Orthodox tradition the 5^th of January is a strict fast day. Not only are meat, fish, dairy products and eggs forbidden, but also oily substances (including vegetable oils). It is believed that this fast cleanses the body after the dietary indiscretions of the holiday season and prepares it for receiving the Holy Water that will be drunk on the Epiphany.

A traditional fasting food that was consumed in Crete is called “Photocóllyva” or “Pappoúdia”. This was made with boiled wheat, together with all sorts of pulses like split peas, beans, broad beans, lentils. It was served well boiled and consumed with a little bread and some chopped raw onions and parsley. The term “Photocóllyva” is derived from the name of the holiday “Phota” (=lights) and “Cóllyva” a traditional dish made for the memory of the dead with boiled wheat. A particularly touching part of the ritual was that this food was shared with the household animals, particularly the oxen, which helped to produce the wheat and the pulses through their efforts. By sharing one’s food with the animals that helped in its production acknowledges their invaluable help.

ON WORK AND TRAVELS

“Find something you love to do and you'll never have to work a day in your life” - Harvey Mackay

While I am still officially on holidays, I went in to work for a short time today as I was in the City and close by. We are officially open, but we are operating with a skeleton staff, the majority of people returning to work next Monday. It was quite strange going into my office with hardly anybody around and feeling a little bit like a visitor. Even as I sat down on my chair at my desk, it felt quite peculiar – mainly because of my psychological state, I guess. I was still in “holiday mood”. The main reason I went in was to water my pot-plants, which after the heat over the last few days certainly needed it.

I chatted with a colleague who has already gone back to work as part of the skeleton staff and we discussed the holiday break. Neither of us had gone away over the break and we were both bemoaning the fact that holidays pass all too soon, and before one knows it, it is time to return to work again. As he is quite a lot younger than me, I had to observe that he will certainly have to work for many years more than me still, before he considers retirement. Whereas, if I take the option of early retirement I can certainly retire by next year.

I have always enjoyed my various jobs and every morning I look forward to going into work. However, after a long haul of many months without a break and without a holiday, one’s mind and body feels the effects of accumulated stresses and anxieties, and going off on a protracted break is certainly attractive; to recharge the batteries, so to speak. In the past we used to travel quite a great deal, both locally and abroad. However, as the years pass by, we seem to travel much less. It must be a sign of increasing age, perhaps.

It may also have something to do with the world’s woes at the present time. It is quite disturbing to hear the news every morning. The continuing bad news of the global financial crisis, wars, terrorism, kidnappings, abductions, racial hatred, mass migrations, political instability, uncertainty… It seems to be the same the world over. I am wondering if all of this was happening in the past as well, but being younger we did not heed it as much. As one ages, some things become less important, while others fade into insignificance. Age changes us and it changes the way we see the world.

I am content to have travelled all over the world when I was younger. I consider myself lucky to have been in places that most people would only know from their geography book or as some hard to pronounce name only seen once on an atlas page. The great majority of people I met on my travels and the most places I visited provided me with a wealth of positive experiences and a firm belief that we humans are extremely similar no matter what our skin colour, our religion or our politics. Human culture is astounding in its variety, our customs and manners may differ, but deep down we all share a basic humanity, a sense of humour and wonder with which we view our world. We all wish to share our experiences with fellow humans and most of us are generous, friendly and hospitable with even complete strangers.

When I hear the bad news, I take heart, given my past travels and positive experiences. There are some bad apples in this barrel of our world, but fortunately they are only a minority. The trouble is that these evil people can make the world such a horrible place for the silent, ever-suffering majority of the good ones… The perennial quandary seems to be how to identify the bad apples and get rid of them before they ruin the whole barrelful!

travel |ˈtravəl| verb ( travels, traveling , traveled ; also chiefly Brit. travels, travelling, travelled)

1 [ no obj. ] Make a journey, typically of some length or abroad: The vessel had been travelling from Libya to Ireland | We travelled thousands of miles in our last journey abroad.

• [ with obj. ] Journey along (a road) or through (a region): He travelled the world with the army.

• (usu. as adj. travelling) go or be moved from place to place: A travelling exhibition.

• informal Resist motion sickness, damage, or some other impairment on a journey: He usually travels well.

• Be enjoyed or successful away from the place of origin: Accordion music travels well.

• dated go from place to place as a sales representative: He travelled for a shoe company through Mississippi.

• (of an object or radiation) Move, typically in a constant or predictable way: Light travels faster than sound.

• informal (esp. of a vehicle) Move quickly.

2 [ no obj. ] Basketball take more than the allowed number of steps (typically two) while holding the ball without dribbling it.

noun

the action of travelling, typically abroad: I have a job that involves a lot of travel.

• (travels) journeys, esp. long or exotic ones: Perhaps you'll write a book about your travels.

• [ as modifier ] (of a device) designed so as to be sufficiently compact for use on a journey: A travel iron.

• the range, rate, or mode of motion of a part of a machine.

ORIGIN Middle English: variant of travail and originally in the same sense.

EXPECTATIONS

“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” - Henry Van Dyke

The calendar holds a special fascination for me as does the cycle of the year with its seasons, its special occasions, its commemorative days, its celebrations and feasts, as well as all other occasions that help to make some days special in some way. We humans love to mark off time and even greater is the desire to mark some days of our existence as “red-letter-days”, which help us navigate our way through the routine of our humdrum lives.

Every year in December I spend some time compiling my own annual calendar for the year ahead, I illustrate it with my photos and for every special day there is some reference, with religious days commemorated in the Christian, Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, Hindu, Zoroastrian and Neopagan belief systems. International commemorative anniversaries are marked, phases of the moon, beginning and ends of daylight savings, the various public holidays and also an inspirational quote for the month.

This year, December was a little bit of a write-off with so much happening and quite a bit of an upheaval not letting me do things according to my usual “schedule”. The calendar was the casualty, meaning that I have been greatly delayed in its production to the disappointment of many friends who are used to receiving it as a New Year’s gift. I was quick to reassure them that yes, it was still happening, it was just slightly delayed this year…

One may reflect a little on this and think about expectations. Things that are assumed and which one may take for granted. This past year more than any other I have realised what a great effort I expend on an almost daily basis in order to do what is expected of me. Things at work and at home, things that other people expect of me and things I expect of myself. And how little it takes to unsettle that fine balance – how little a spanner needs to be if it is to disrupt the works, when it is thrown in.

Perhaps, in the end, I should resolve something this year and that is to moderate expectations of me. Clearly spell out (to myself first) that what I expect of myself need be more realistic and that my timelines need be more elastic. Also to ensure that others understand that what they expect of me need be judged by some reasonable standard and that they understand my multiple commitments, activities and responsibilities. The more we idealise others, the higher our expectations of them. I have tried too hard maybe to be the ideal, hence others’ high expectations of me… If we expect nothing, we are grateful for whatever comes to us genuinely, spontaneously and unasked for.

WATER

“The cure for anything is salt water: Sweat, tears or the sea.” - Isak Dinesen (Karen Blixen)

Magpie Tales has chosen a Marina Moevs painting as a stimulus to get our creative juices flowing this week.

“Marina Moevs' breathtaking oil paintings present the often awe inspiring beauty of powerful natural events, such as floods, fires and storms. Seductively serene, they resonate with psychologically volatile meanings and metaphors, not only personally for the artist, but as collective archetypes that speak for humanity as a whole. Indeed, just as psychoanalytic discourse equates the unconscious with nature itself (from which the idea of ‘human nature’ evolved), Moevs' paintings employ natural imagery to express the autonomy and subjectivity of human moods. They also stand as brilliantly crafted and imagined ‘shrines’ that both associate and segregate human beings’ and nature’s mysteriously linked creativity.”

Andy Brumer

The paintings of this artist turned my mind to things anatomical and pathological. For what are we but water (60% of our body weight, in fact…).

Water

Water sustains us, for we are of water;

Our humours ebbing and flowing,

Running incessantly in our subcutaneous rivers:

Blood, phlegm, yellow and black bile.

Water nourishes, for without it we die;

Our bodies desertified, our a flesh mere husk

Where lack of juices fails to vivify:

Sweat, tears, saliva and other secretions.

Water within us, for we are born of it;

Creatures of some primordial sea that

We still carry inside us – hear the waves breaking:

Amniotic fluid, cerebrospinal fluid and tissue fluid.

Water kills, for we are designed for drowning;

Our lungs so easily filled with oedema,

Or with water breathed in, to stifle us:

Exudate, insudate, transudate and inspired water.

Water flows, runs, rushes, scours, floods;

Our tears tsunami-like, can overwhelm.

Lymph bubbles and swells painfully within confined space,

Our gastric juice corrodes, digests our flesh,

And we surrender, give up the ghost to some massive internal haematoma.

Our internal waters, sometimes placid like limpid lakes;

Sometimes rough seas that swallow whole islands – like Atlantis;

Our waters: Healing, nourishing, beneficial like breast milk;

But also destructive torrential rivers, that flatten our house;

Like vomit that we breathe in, a horrible aspirated death thus delivered.

MOVIE MONDAY - FLESH AND BONE

“Nothing is to be preferred before justice.” - Socrates

We watched a very good film a couple of days ago, about which we had heard nothing, but it was another of these great discoveries in the bargain bin of our video store. It was the 1993 movie “Flesh and Bone”, written and directed by Steve Kloves, and starring Dennis Quaid, Meg Ryan, James Caan and Gwyneth Paltrow. The film was first rate in all aspects and I am quite at a loss to explain the “average” rating that it has received in the IMDB “popularity meter” – however, one should not be surprised, given the drivel that attracts high ratings (e.g. “Inception”!).

The plot revolves around Arlis (Dennis Quaid) who is a vending machine owner who roams from small town to small town in West Texas. Arlis is haunted by horrific memories from his childhood, and he fails to connect emotionally with the women he meets. He has a “woman in every town” having these flings with married women where there are no strings attached. One day Arlis meets Kay (Meg Ryan), who is running away from an abusive and gambler husband. Kay begins travel with Arlis on his circuit and they fall in love. Arlis’ evil father (James Caan) comes back into the life of his son and Arlis must once again deal with the heavy burden of the ties that bind them. Complicating matters is the young drifter and petty thief Ginnie (Gwynneth Paltrow) that Arlis’ father has picked up. The film develops slowly and irrevocably into a dramatic dénouement, where each person must confront the ghosts of the pasts, especially so Arlis…

“Flesh and Bone” is possibly one of the 1990s most neglected classic films. It is subtle, understated, powerful and extremely well made and acted. The story is tight and engaging, the characters believable and tragic and the themes sombre. All actors in the leading quartet give sterling performances, with Quaid perhaps (who gives his character an understated tragic desperation that becomes quite devastating by the end) deserving the line honours. Quaid never allows Arlis to become pathetic, which perhaps would have been easily done by a lesser actor. Caan is great as always, and Ryan gives a magnificent performance, while Paltrow impresses, playing a difficult role without any of the sugary sweetness that was the ingredient of most of her roles that followed.

There is precious little about this film that isn’t of high quality. It has a good script, skillful and sensitive directing, stark cinematography that suits the plot to a tee, excellent performances, and haunting soundtrack. It is an excellent piece of film making and strorytelling. We highly recommend this movie as it is original, engaging, moving and exceedingly well-made. If you haven't seen it, it is well worth your while to hunt it down and watch it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

“If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.” - Confucius

Nikiphoros Lytras (Greek: Νικηφόρος Λύτρας; 1832, Pyrgos, Tinos – June 13, 1904, Athens) was a nineteenth century Greek painter. He was born on Tinos Island, and trained in Athens at the School of Arts. In 1860 he won a scholarship to Royal Academy of Fine Arts of Munich. After completing these studies, he became a professor at the School of Arts in 1866, a position he held for the rest of his life. He remained faithful to the precepts and principles of the academicism of Munich, while paying greatest attention both to ethographic themes and portraiture. His most famous portrait was of the royal couple, Otto and Amalia, and his most well-known landscape a depiction of the region of Lavrio.

In this well-known genre of painting of his, the “Calanda” (= carol singing) he depicts a household scene with great humour and many touching elements. The young singers could singing Christmas or New Year’s carols. Let’s pretend is the traditional Greek New Year’s carol, widely sung by children who still go a-carolling on New Year’s Day:

New Year's Carol

Start of the month and start of the year,

My tall rosemary bush!

And start of the year, a good year,

In church, in church with the holy throne!

Start of the year, when Christ came

Most holy and spiritual;

To walk on earth

And to make our heart good.

St Basil is coming

And welcomes all of us,

He comes from Caesarea,

And you milady are noble woman!

He holds an icon and writing paper,

Sugar candy and a baked cake.

The writing paper and the ink,

Look at me the young brave lad!

The ink wrote on the paper,

My fortune all it wrote,

And the paper talked to me,

My white St Basil!

This post is part of the Psalm Sunday meme.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

As another year expires, we are awaiting the birth of a new one. What better music to herald its entry than some music by the “Waltz King”? Johann Strauss II (October 25, 1825 - June 3, 1899); also known as fully Johann Baptist Strauss, and Johann Strauss Jr. was an Austrian composer of light music, particularly dance music and operettas. He composed over 500 waltzes, polkas, quadrilles, and other types of dance music, as well as several operettas and a ballet. He was largely responsible for the popularity of the waltz in Vienna during the 19th century.

Strauss was born in St. Ulrich (now a part of Neubau), the son of Johann Strauss I, another composer of dance music. His father did not wish him to become a composer, but rather a banker; however, the son defied his father’s wishes, and went on to study music with the composer Joseph Drechsler and the violin with Anton Kollmann, the ballet répétiteur of the Vienna Court Opera. Strauss had two younger brothers, Josef and Eduard Strauss, who became composers of light music as well, although they were never as well-known as their elder brother.

Some of Johann Strauss’s most famous works include The Blue Danube Waltz, Vienna Blood Waltz, Kaiser-Walzer, Tales from the Vienna Woods, the Tritsch-Tratsch-Polka, and the Pizzicato Polka. Among his operettas, Die Fledermaus and Der Zigeunerbaron are the most well-known.

Best wishes for a New Year

full of health, happiness and prosperity!

YES, BUT IS IT KOSHER?

“My soul is dark with stormy riot: Directly traced over to diet” - Samuel Hoffenstein

We have invited a Jewish couple to dinner in the New Year and we are reading up on what is permissible (“Kosher”) and what is not (“Traif”). The first source of course is the biblical passage of Leviticus, chapter 11, and Deuteronomy, Chapter 14, which list the dietary restrictions God gave to the nation of Israel. The dietary laws include prohibitions against eating pork, shrimp, shellfish and many types of seafood, most insects, scavenger birds, and various other “impure” animals.

At the time that these restrictions were put in place and given the geographic and climatic conditions prevailing, these restrictions made a great deal of sense. In a hot climate shellfish quickly spoils, for example, and can cause very severe food poisoning. Pork is notorious for the number of parasites it can contain and the horrible disease it can give rise in humans if the pigs are not kept in hygienic conditions and the animal is not slaughtered properly. Moslems have some dietary restrictions that are similar and are based on the same hygienic factors.

According to Jewish dietary laws, to be “pure” an animal must also be free from certain defects, and must be slaughtered and cleaned according to specific regulations (Shechita). Any product of an impure or improperly slaughtered animal is also non-kosher. Animal gelatin, for example, has been avoided, although recently kosher gelatin (from cows or from fish prepared according to kosher regulations) has become available. The status of shellac is still  controversial. The prohibitions also extend to certain parts of pure animals, such as blood, certain fat tissues, and the sciatic nerves.

It is forbidden to cook milk or dairy product with meat. Meat and milk are not even eaten in the same meal and different pots, crockery, cutlery and washing up equipment are used to cook them. Dairy food, even a cup of tea, may not be eaten until 3 hours after the consumption of meat or fowl. Other regulations affect wine, cheese and their derivatives such as wine vinegar and grape juice. All these products must be made under strict Rabbinical supervision. Leaven is also to be avoided at prescribed times of the religious calendar and it must eradicated from the house – in many cases different sets of crockery, pots and pans, cutlery, glassware being used in a different kitchen during the period of prohibition. Fasting si also prescribed on certain religious feast days.

The short answer as to why Jews observe dietary laws is because the Torah says so. The Torah does not specify any reason for these laws, and for a Torah-observant, traditional Jew, there is no need for any other reason. Orthodox, observant Jews follow the dietary laws, in a similar way to Islam, in order to show obedience to the word of God.

It is interesting that in the New Testament, Jesus declared all foods clean (Mark 7:19). God gave the apostle Peter a vision in which He declared that formerly unclean animals could be eaten: “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean” (Acts 10:15). When Jesus died on the cross, He fulfilled the Old Testament law (Romans 10:4; Galatians 3:24-26; Ephesians 2:15). This includes the laws regarding clean and unclean foods.

Romans 14:1-23 observes that not everyone accepts the fact that all foods are clean. As a result, if we are with someone who would be offended by our eating “unclean” food, we should give up our right to do so as to not offend the other person. We have the right to eat whatever we want, but we do not have the right to offend other people, who believe differently. Christians have the freedom to eat whatever they wish as long as it does not cause someone else to stumble in his/her faith.

Now in terms of our dinner party, the next place to mine of course, would be Jewish cookbooks where we can find some interesting recipes to try. Fortunately in Melbourne we have a plethora of shops that sell Kosher foods and ingredients and it should be fairly easy to obtain ingredients for the menu we decide on. Failing all, of course, we could order some Kosher food in from a Kosher restaurant! Any other suggestions welcome!

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS?

“I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn't be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year's resolution is not to bark back.” - Tucker Carlson

Many thanks to all those who commented on yesterday’s blog, I appreciate your kindness. I feel much better today and I am sure that by New Year’s Day, I shall be back to my usual cheerful self – well at least as cheerful as I am usually… It will be good to see the back of 2011 and I look forward to next year as one when I shall achieve some of my long-term goals, look seriously at my retirement options, finish a couple of my major projects and hopefully travel overseas in the second half of the year.

Are you the sort of person who makes New Year’s resolutions? I used to, but many years ago when I was younger. Now I prefer to set some goals at appropriate times throughout the year and then do my best to achieve them. Some of my colleagues come back to work in the New Year with impressive lists of resolutions (a couple of them even post them up above their desk so that they can look at them daily), however, come February, they are rather unceremoniously forgotten, taken down or covered by other bits of paper that are posted over them.

New Year’s Eve has always been a time for looking back to the past, and more importantly, forward to the coming year. Taking a tally of all that has happened and not happened in our life and making some decisions about what we want changed in our life. It’s a time to reflect on the changes we want (or need) to make and resolve to follow through on those changes. If you are in the habit of making New Year resolutions, see how close they come to a popular “top ten list”:

1)    Spend More Time with Family & Friends

2)    Exercise more, get fit

3)    Lose weight so as not to be obese

4)    Quit smoking

5)    Enjoy life more, be happier

6)    Quit drinking

7)    Get out debt

8)    Learn something new

9)    Help other more

10) Get more organised

I am sure that most people would have found a few of those that resonated with them and that were perhaps familiar from last year, or even the year before. Funny thing about these resolutions they keep recurring like clockwork, year after year…

resolution |ˌrezəˈlo͞oSHən| noun

1 A firm decision to do or not to do something: She kept her resolution not to see Anne any more | My New Year's resolution is to lose weight and get really fit.

• A formal expression of opinion or intention agreed on by a legislative body, committee, or other formal meeting, typically after taking a vote: the conference passed two resolutions.

• The quality of being determined or resolute: he handled the last French actions of the war with resolution.

2 The action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter: the peaceful resolution of all disputes | a successful resolution to the problem.

• Music the passing of a discord into a concord during the course of changing harmony.

• Medicine the disappearance of inflammation, or of any other symptom or condition.

3 chiefly Chemistry the process of reducing or separating something into its components.

• Physics the replacing of a single force or other vector quantity by two or more jointly equivalent to it.

• the conversion of something abstract into another form.

• Prosody the substitution of two short syllables for one long one.

4 the smallest interval measurable by a scientific (esp. optical) instrument; the resolving power.

• the degree of detail visible in a photographic or television image.

ORIGIN late Middle English: from Latin resolutio(n-), from resolvere ‘loosen, release’

SADNESS, AGAIN

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

As the year draws to its close, I find myself in a melancholy mood. “Dark biliousness” – so did the ancient Greeks call this excess of negative humours that manifests itself as a feeling of glumness with a sad mien and lack of energy, propensity to tears, a depression. It is a mood that makes one particularly selfish. One stays inside and pulls the blinds down – staying in at home is optional.

With lots of thoughts. So many thoughts that one’s head threatens to burst asunder. “What if…”; “Maybe…”; “Had things been different…”; “If so-and-so had said this, done this…”; “If only…”; “All would be different now…” – so many alternative universes that my head will surely explode. Parallel realities, all unreal. How can one escape from this dark, deep pit that saps one’s life?

Another year draws to a close. Where did all that time go? What happened? How did all those days and nights rush by? Even with a few hours sleep a night every night, the year rushed by as if I were on an express train, seeing all the brightly-lit stations flit by, and only now, I am stopped still in a dark tunnel. The train has stopped, no lights, no lights at the end of the tunnel. And yet my destination awaits me – who knows how far ahead, but it’s there. That is the only certainty.

Clutching the darkness, I feel the palpable black bile that surrounds me with its glutinous, suffocating texture. Searching for something substantial to hold on to. A hand? No, it could clutch a dagger. A rope? No it could strangle me. A chain firmly fixed? No it could fetter me. A piece of wood? No, a crucifix to crucify me. Maybe just a warm embrace that I could sink into and be rescued by. Even if it stifles me…

And yet I go on, I invent my own rescue. I move on pulling myself forward with invisible threads, each strand attached to each of my cells. I follow a faint glimmer of hope in the darkness. A tiny, pale, blue little light. Hope is a lambent blue butterfly invented to rescue me from madness. So insubstantial and yet its wings strong enough to pull the invisible threads upwards and lift me out of my dark pit.

Another year waits in the wings, ready to come on stage upon hearing its cue. We shall travel together you and I. You, young and golden-haired, and I, well I am old and old enough to know better and be strong and go forward. I pull myself up and will manufacture a light at the end of the tunnel. We must hope otherwise we shall die at once. Death will come soon enough, no need to invite him before his time. This too shall pass.

POETRY TUESDAY - I AM

“No mask like open truth to cover lies, As to go naked is the best disguise.” - William Congreve

How many times in our lives it is necessary for us to conceal what is in our mind, what is in our heart, what we really feel in our soul, and present to the world a picture that is acceptable for the circumstances… Our public mask whether a cheerful one, whether one of well-measured composure, or one of self-assured competence is one that may hide below it pain, bitterness, despair, disappointment, disillusionment…

This is my contribution to the Magpie Tales poetry meme.

I Am What I Am

You ask of me to bare myself –

Remove my public mask

Reveal my hidden side,

Shed my chameleon cloak.

You ask of me to doff an armour

I have worn so long it feels like second skin;

To cast off artifice, duplicity,

Discard my cultivated image.

You ask of me to trim my tresses,

Make you a gift of my vulnerability;

Be rid of my convenient nebulosity

Appear before you naked, like the truth.

The mask removed reveals a second mask beneath it;

My armour shed, reveals a hardened carapace below it;

Stripped of my shifting colours,

I simply show you my camouflage even better.

I am that which I am; what I am, I am not,

I am what you have made me, not what I truly am.

The image above of Marilyn Monroe is by Bert Stern